God and Me-Part 3

Part 1 of God and Me:Part one
Part 2 of God and Me:Part two

"I hate you!" I paused,took a deep breath,and shouted again "I hate you!"

"Why do you always push me into self-doubt? Can't you make me do something miraculous so that I can stop being so harsh on myself?And what are you doing? Giving me task after task that just blast my wall of confidence! Urgh! I just hate you!"

Lying on my bed,with nothing much to do,this is what I was doing one afternoon-blaming God.

As always,whenever I request Him to come and help me,He won't move an inch.Only after my repeated chantings of "I hate you",did He finally raise an eyebrow.Now after days of repeatedly saying "I hate you" He finally made an appearance.And where there is God,you can expect drama.

"Now what have I done? I am not sitting idle like you and brooding about what others have and I don't.I am a very busy person.I had sent you so many signs that things would be fine once you look inside you,but instead you look the other way and refuse to acknowledge my signs!"

Finally,He paused for some breath.I looked at Him indifferently and said "Over?Or some drama is still left?"

He rolled his eyes and gave a sigh,meaning His drama was over.It was my turn now.

"Can you tell me why you don't answer me when I am in the middle of a crisis?Why you don't even give me a handkerchief when I am crying?Why can't I feel your hand on my shoulder when I am so diffident?Why don't you send someone when I am so lonely? I always thought that you sent someone for me when I am lonely or in need of a friend.But nowadays,you don't care! You are putting so many pressures on me at the same time...I can't handle it anymore! Do you hear me? "

God was standing with His arms folded and lips drawn in a stubborn manner.

"Say something!" I nearly screamed.

"I don't give handkerchiefs,I only give solutions.If you want a God who gives handkerchiefs,then go and find another God."He turned to go.

I didn't move an inch.

Turning back to me,He said "You wont even stop me?".I said nothing,and was just staring at Him.I don't know whether it was my stare or whether he felt something for my plight but suddenly he softened and said in His Godly voice "Okay.I am not doing any more drama.But I'll tell you something.Would you listen?"

He took my silence as my Yes,so he continued,"Look child.I give you problems so that you come out of those as a matured person.I send people who don't listen to you to test your patience,I send irritating people to test your anger,I break friendships so that you learn how to love others no matter what and appreciate the right people,I delay your success to test your determination.I send failures to you so that you know how to handle success.Yes I do it all purposely.Not to break you,but to mold you into the right person.So have patience,be calm,forgive others,have a big heart.Don't be sulky like you are now.I care for you.Thats why I send problems to you.Parents send their children to far off places to work or study,why?Only for their benefit.The separation is difficult,but its for the child's good.Isn't it?"

He smiled.And I...well...did feel like smiling,but my ego came in between.Then,God cleared his throat and said "Speaking of complaints,even I have a complaint too"

I expected him to tell me that I don't remember him much often,that I never tell him about good things,etc etc..but what he said,was this:
"Will you stop complaining repeatedly about your problems?I came down this time because I saw that my secretary was fed up with your repeated complaint letters.Just complaint once,my secretary has good memory and she would surely notify me about your complaint.In short,I am asking you to stop whining,start living!"

With that grumble,God turned around and vanished.

Suddenly,I remembered something,"Hey I have to ask you another question!!!!"
But God was gone by that time.Maybe to attend some conference on How To Handle Irritating People (like me).

Do post your comments while I post a few more complaints to God.

But hey,I am still in my thoughtful mood.About what God said.Thinking.Thinking.Thinking.Zzzzzzzz...........

Cheers! Have a Nice Week Ahead! :)

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A long.....err....Story

Savita put down the magazine she was reading and looked out of the window,thoughtful.Such bad times,she thought with a sigh.So many people are suffering from depression and stress.She closed her eyes and tried to feel the sounds around her.She felt at peace.She sighed.She suddenly felt sure that depression would never touch her.Never.

Next day in school,she overheard the girls sitting near her bench."...I really think I am suffering from depression.I just don't feel interested in anything.Ever since my best friend and I have fought,I just haven't been myself..."

Depressed?A student of class 11th? A mere teen?
Why not?Hadn't she read that people of all age-groups suffered from depression?Oh dear!

She returned home and her mother told her to come for lunch."No mom,I don't feel like eating.I'll just go and sleep".Her mother's protests were answered with Savita's bedroom door being closed.
This continued for a week.

"Hey Savita! Why are you not joining us in basketball? Come on yaar...this is the only free-time we get!"
Savita looked up and saw her friends playing basketball,all sweaty but happy.She gave a feeble smile.
"No its okay.You carry on".
This continued for a month or two.

Savita's best friend since childhood,Asha,called her up one day."Hey sweetie! I miss you so much! Hows life going on?"
Savita felt a hollow elation at hearing her best friend's voice."Oh I miss you so much too!".She felt like laughing and crying at the same time.
Asha was saying something."You know,I haven't found a friend like you over here.Me and my dad fight everyday ever since he got transferred to this place last year.But I guess he is helpless too.Transfers are a part of the job,but seriously,I miss those times...and your squeaky laughter for which I used to tease you so much about....".
Savita didn't hear anymore of what Asha was saying.Where has her laughter gone now?Where is her smile?Oh god! Please help!

"Torque is defined as the product of the applied force and the perpendicular distance"..Vasu sir,the physics teacher,was saying.But Savita wasn't concentrating.
Where has my laughter gone?
"All right students.I have completed three units now.The syllabus for next test is covered".
Why can't I find my confidence?
"Don't read too many books,otherwise you'll get confused.Just stick to one book and follow its concepts."
Everyone is so much better and happier than me.Why?Where am I lost?
"And please think of physics as interesting.If you fear it,and don't befriend it,then you're gone"
There was loud thud in the class,and as students jerked their heads,they saw Savita lying on the floor.Unconcious.

"Savita! What happened darling? Didn't you eat your lunch?Did you hit your head somewhere?Are you having fever?Don't panic!" It was Savita's mother,panicking in the hospital,where she was brought by her friends and some teachers.The same friends who also informed Savita's mother about her condition.

"Your daughter is suffering from very low blood pressure.".The doctor in-charge informed without preamble.
Her mother was shocked."But...but..."
"Didn't she eat well for past few days?"
"She did"
"Is she suffering from depression?"
Depression? "No".
"Are you sure?" the doctor looked curiously.
"Yes,definitely."
"Oh".The doctor tore the prescriptions page and said "For now,give this medicines to her as per the prescription.If she faints again,we'll go for a scan".
"Thank you".

Outside,Savita's friends were waiting."Aunty,how is Savita now?She has been very quiet for the past few days"
Savita's mother was surprised."Why?"
The girls looked uncertain,and confirmed their uncertainty when they said "We don't know Aunty.She doesn't play basketball,doesn't concentrate in class,sits alone,doesn't talk and joke much nowadays"
"Oh" was all her mother could say."I'll see to her.Thank you so much for your help girls".
The girls smiled and went off,leaving Savita's mother alone to think about all that happened.

"Mom,I am suffering from depression?" Savita asked,a half-statement,a half-question.Sitting in her bedroom now,on a two-day leave from school,Savita still hadn't improved much.The same,sparkle-less eyes,lifeless voice,and a few occasional tears.Savita's mother sat by her daughter,gently stroking Savita's hair.
"You are not suffering from depression.You THINK you are suffering from depression".
 The raised eyebrows and the wide-eyes showed Savita didn't understand."But..."
"But what? I know you read that article I showed to you,about depression.But I just wanted to convey to you that if you think you are depressed,you'd be depressed.People are just popularizing the feeling of sadness by giving a fashionable name:Depression"

"Look,I know you were a little sad when Asha went to Banglore and you are here in Mumbai.But life hasn't ended at that! God has given you an opportunity to look around and make a bigger circle of friends,other than Asha."

"And remember,you are not lost without anybody.You are always you.Everyone has good and bad things,and so do you.That does not mean you'll think you are worse than others! People will love you if you are yourself.And not pretend like someone else.Don't think your classmates don't care about you.They do.You should also be good to them.Start thinking good thoughts.Stop thinking you're depressed!"
Savita smiled,relieved.She ate a heavy-lunch,like a famished soul.

Next day in class,she gave all the wrong answers to the questions posed by Vasu sir.But she was glad that he now joked about her wrong answers and helped her personally(And also gave her extra marks in the tests!)

She played basketball,and by the end of the game,she was sweaty,tanned,but still happy.

She called up Asha and told her how much she missed her."But life goes on yaar.Do you know?I had once told you I how I hated Nisha,the girl from other section?Well I was wrong.She isn't proud as I thought.We are now friends too! Life is beautiful now...."

As she hung up,Savita suddenly thought of the article.She smiled.Her mom was right.
People are just popularizing the feeling of sadness by giving a fashionable name:Depression"
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P.S: Well the views in the above article are fully mine.Not even any side-views or rear-views.So you are welcome to point out discrepancies (specially medical ones! :P).But..hope you don't discourage :P .

P.P.S:
Hey people! I passed in my Third Semester Exams..with a GPA of 8.33! Yippeee! Now I am tension-free! :P

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Happy New Year! :)

Note: Sorry....I published the post before actually writing anything.:P

So everyone....Wishing you and your family a very  HAPPY NEW YEAR! :)

Well,this new year is special,right? I mean the new year started with an eclipse :P.

Anyways...all we can do is learn from our mistakes,be more good,more friendly,more sweet,more aware,more sober,more patient,reduce patients in hospitals and be healthy :P,more optimistic,more loyal,and more human:)

More importantly,lets also hope that all the above mentioned 'mores' are also followed by others :P

Once again...a Happy New Year...do follow your New Year Resolutions if you have any...and if you don't,let the others who have peacefully follow theirs ! :P

Cheers!
Have a happy weekend! :)

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The Randomness of Random Thoughts

I tell myself ,"Today I have to,have to write a post in my blog".The watch showed 4 o'clock in the evening.As my eyelids came down to block my vision,I lazily think "Oh well,I'll write it in the night".

Night comes and goes.But not even a single idea for my blog.

Next day in class..my thoughts go for a walk something like this:
The climate summit....Yes! Thats going to be my idea for my blog! I am now smiling...a relieved smile.Now my half-abandoned blog will be cared for once again! But my smile fades as I think of WHAT to write for that!  I mean no country needs to compromise...its the people who need to change their lifestyles...but who listens to great people like me?:(
And if I say that there is no need for any stupid climate summit and that people need to get away from their fear of darkness and in turn switch off lights at night,the world would be a better place...then I would be having a shoe-y crown on my head! :(

Nope...idea canceled.

How about pessimism of the Media? Ya thats a good one.I smiled smugly,yeah...I got a new victim! You know the media is so pessimistic....have any of the news channels or any newspaper highlighted the fact that the forest cover of India has increased by 0.3%?Okay okay maybe the percent is too small..but at least our efforts are reaping results! We might perhaps reverse the climate change conditions!...Err..I mean reduce.

Maybe thats being too hopeful...compared to the media! :P

As I munched my half-cooked roti of my hostel mess....I get this Newtonian idea of writing about the patheticity of hostel food everywhere.Oh that would draw out sympathy from all the readers! Ask anyone who lives in the hostel...they'll surely tell the sad story of hostel food.Don't the mess-incharges have any heart?Don't they realise how sad the poor kids are already that they add salt to the wounds by providing pathetic food?
But I have already written a wee-bit too much about my hostel...and as I said earlier,I don't repeat myself :P

As I climb the steps of my hostel(lift isn't working)..I think further...Hmm then? How about some sad poem?Yeah....my poems always invite praises...and everyone is set to the 'thinking-mode' after reading them(Oh I am so modest :P).As I turned the pages of my poem notebook(collection of my OWN poems..mind it!),I select one poem and just as I am about to type out a relatively fierce poem...I realised that all my poems till now have been pretty much...err...fierce types only.One more..and my readers would say no more! :(

As I arrange my books...a great Einsteinian idea struck me (Newton was born before Einstein :P).I'll write all the thoughts that run through my head and post it! Oh I am so intelligent!

So forgetting my books...I sat down and started typing..
"I tell myself ,"Today I have to,have to write a post in my blog".The watch showed 4 o'clock in the evening.As my eyelids came down to block my vision,I lazily think "Oh well,I'll write it in the night"."

Have a great week ahead....
Cheers! :)

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When the wind blows

She stood tall,unafraid,
Unmoving lips speaking the words not said,
She looked almost peaceful,calm,
But inside her there was a raging storm...

She nursed her bruises,
She bore those bad curses,
But never again,she promised to herself with determination,
Never again,would this happen to anyone,

She was a mother,she still is,
But her murdered daughter she would always miss,
Murdered,at the hands of her husband's family,
She,at first,didn't believe that it was the reality...

Why?Why was her innocent daughter killed?
Didn't her little hands convey that she wanted to live?
Cold-bloodily strangled,her daughter was,
And all she lived was a few hours....

Now,she would fight,take her revenge,
Her daughter's murder,she would avenge,
She was killed because she was a daughter,
Now,she would fight because they killed her daughter...

Her elder daughter entered,along with the lawyer,
Who promised to help her avenge her daughter's murder,
The lawyer,a lady herself,helped her unending,
She would not let the murderers get away so easily....

Sometimes,we are carried away by the pleasant weather,
And we think it would always remain this way,
But when the winds blow too fast and strong,
Not much really lasts long...

Like this,perhaps many mistake the shy daughter-in-law,
To be silent and submissive,as she always was,
But when she takes a stand,nothing can shake her will,
She still can't understand fully,why her daughter was killed?
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Yes,female foeticide still happens.If not in the womb,then the innocent girl is killed within few hours of her birth.Not only it happens in rural areas,but its as much a reality in the urban areas too.Why?Why would you kill an innocent child just because its a girl?What can't a girl do when she grows up?

P.S:
The above poem is inspired by a story which I read in some supplementary of a newspaper.Though,perhaps,its not a full justice to the emotions of that woman on whom the poem is based...still,its just a try to recreate her emotions.:)

P.P.S:
Sorry for the lengthy poem,and the irregular pattern of the lines :P

Cheers!
Have a happy week ahead.
:)

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Just a thought

For the past one week,the discussions in the Media are hovering around the 1st anniversary of the Mumbai Terror Attacks.Like a flashback of what happened in Mumbai...when we stuck to our television screens.Most news channels showed a ticker on the side which showed number of casualties like some score of a cricket match! How much have we grown from that time till now?

Of course,we have now realised how much vulnerable our very own police force is at the hands of the government...people like Hemant Karkare died at the hands of terrorists,fighting,just because his bullet proof jacket was "faulty".

We now realise how media should behave in times of trouble....it was noticed that the terrorists were aware of the police force's actions just by watching TV.

We now realise that no place is safe from terror attacks....From railway stations,to grand and famous hotels....terror discriminates no one.

We now realise the seriousness of growing terrorism,growing insecurity,growing inability of the Administration to capture the culprits and pluck out the root cause responsible for such unprecedented attacks.
We also realise that as common people,the only thing we can do (at the least) is raise voices,keep pestering the non-committal government,and to have enough presence of mind if and when we are trapped in a terror-attack situation.

And finally,we also realise that just panel discussions with ministers,lighting candles,rewinding the past events,and complaining to the media about the inability of the Government,insufficient tools for security forces etc etc cannot do much harm to the Rhino-skinned terrorists.

Like always,we,the Indians, have moved on,whenever something big happened.Mumbai was back to business in 3 days after the attacks.Perhaps,in a way,the terrorist-attacks have failed.Failed to completely paralyse one city,or state,or country.But they have indeed been successful in creating a fear.A fear,amongst all,victims or not,of the anything-can-happen-any-moment thinking.
But now, we have taken a stance against terrorism.We won't go back on that.Its time to look forward.

And we,the Indians,will.
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Hello everyone! I am back! Exams went on okay types.Just a wee bit shaky here and there.
Am back home now...enjoying the winter! (with an ice-cream!)

Have a nice week ahead.....:)
Take care!

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Exam time! :P

Yep...its that time of the year (for us) again in which we are reminded that we need to study in college too...apart from having fun..
Yes..the Exam Time.
Unfortunately,when I opened my Maths book yesterday...I realised that whatever formulae I thought I knew were those of the second semester...and right now I am going to give the exams for third semester.

Ha ha ha...so funny...I don't remember attending the classes of ElectroMagnetic Theory (EMT) or Measurements and Instrumentation(MI)...what was I doing then? Hmm...Oh ya! I was writing the record for the labs!Duh!

Well anyway...I wanted to convey my apologies to everyone for not properly commenting on their new posts...but I can't help it.

Anyways..I am logging off now...will return back to my intellectual(?) blabbering after the exams (or even in between the exams :P)

Cheers!
Have a great fortnight ahead! :)

P.S: My Practical Exams were not really that great...Data Structures was bad...forgot the whole program and had to ask ma'am for a change of question :P
Electronic Devices and Circuits wasn't too good...the ma'am helped me to take the readings for UJT...and was cursing under her breath "I don't understand why students like you come to college" :P

Measurements and Instrumentation(MI) lab was good....but Viva was bad....I didn't even explain the difference between Energy and Power :P

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