Random Thoughts

God and me....after the break

2011-08-31T23:38:00.000+05:30

"Are you there?"
"Well,I am always available in Gtalk,but sometimes invisible in Yahoo",said God,appearing out of nowhere from smoke,with a large grin on his face."How come you remembered me after so many years?".Sigh!God and his exaggeration!

In a low voice,I said,"Well,I was just thinking how You were always there for me whenever I needed you,but then suddenly,there came an invisible gap between us.Felt like talking to You today".

"Wow!! Am so lucky you remembered me....I guess I'll grant everybody's wishes today since its my lucky day!",He said,guffawing loudly.

"Can you please be serious?",I glared at Him till He stopped laughing.

"Okay okay...tell me what is there in your heart then",He smiled His gentle smile :-)

I sighed heavily,and went on,"I missed you so much.I don't know why all these days I didn't call you when I felt alone,didn't believe in you when I should have,didn't think of you as a friend,but instead thought of you as a mere punisher,thought you're there to punish me for every single thought I think,thought you'll trouble me if I do something right,thought you'll avenge if I did something wrong,and above all,thought you hate me."

I looked up,expecting a hurt expression on His face,but all I saw was a big smile,with eyes full of tenderness and care.

"I am sorry.",I said,my eyes brimming up with tears.

"Oh its all right.Better late than never.Well,I don't hate you.I don't hate anybody-because I am supposed to be God.Neither do I keep a track of whatever you do to keep on punishing you.Its your own deeds that decide what you get.I am a mere freelancing being-I am here,there,everywhere! Its just that people don't realize my presence until something bad happens.I am forgotten the moment I help them wriggle out of the problem.*sigh*.Its okay,I don't mind.After all,I am too busy!",He said,grinning.

"So,you're not angry with me then?",I asked,trying hard not to show my relief.

"No",He said,smiling.

"Good.Because I am angry.Just because I didn't call you,that doesn't mean you also don't come to me!I trusted you so much! You're just throwing problems after problems on me! Am I a human being or what?Why didn't you come to see me when I needed you the most? Why don't you help me face the problems?Why do you always target me?Why...",I rambled on and on.

When I paused to catch my breath,God had disappeared,with the smoke pollution still present in the room.Huh.So much for all that lecture about "I am always there".:-|

"Do" Vs "Don't Do"

2011-06-03T00:00:00.001+05:30

Since our childhood,we're told about a lot of stuffs that we shouldn't do,speak,listen,eat,question and so on.But how many of us really follow those?

Its human nature to do the very act which has been prohibited.Really.The "Don't go out in the rain" is far more effective in triggering a reverse response(that is,you would go out in the rain) than "Stay at home".

A negative statement never gives the result."don't walk fast","don't be lazy","don't forget" ,all give a problem,but not the solution.They don't motivate us to do something.Whats the harm in walking fast?What should I be doing?Why shouldn't I forget?.These statements don't come to your mind by themselves....its just that the brain reacts more to positivity than negativity.You like being around a cheerful,encouraging and amiable person or rude,discouraging person?

When you say "I've to get up early" instead of "I must not wake up late"...you're sure to wake up early.A "I should be more active" instead of "I shouldn't be lazy" is far more effective.Even for small children,if you notice,they respond better to "put the paper down" in place of "don't tear the paper".Yeah I did try that.:)

So you see,our brain cells or neurons or whatever respond better to positive sentences.When there is a negative sentence,the brain has to perform the act and then negate the result.Don't get it?
Consider when you say "Don't throw the ball" to a small child.He will first have to understand what is "throw the ball",and then he will think and act on "DON'T throw the ball".

If you say "hold the ball",the child will not let go of the ball because its a simple statement.

Of course,for the adults,our brains are fast enough to understand the "don't"....and we sometimes purposely neglect it for our own convenience. ;)

So, DO be careful when you use the DOs and DON'Ts with anybody,including yourself :)

P.S: Found the info in a forwarded mail which I received.:)

Cheers,
Have a Happy Week Ahead :)

A month of exams and goodbyes

2011-05-10T11:24:00.000+05:30

April came and went....and with it came the dreaded Semester Exams(which are still going on).But for our seniors,its the end of college life.:(

It was a month of filling slambooks, taking pictures, celebrating a birthday or two,nostalgia about the hostel life,how we all had fun,fights,tears,laughter,advising,watching movies together....it just goes on and on.

I marvel at our Hostel though,how would it react to see a bunch of students vacate at the end of their college life,if it had a voice to speak?Would it cry too?Would it bless them for a bright future?A silly thought...the Hostel building just stands there sternly,even as new students come in,replacing the old.

Okay I am not that emotional....I just feel sad to think how it would all be the next year when we(the 3rd years going to Final year) would say goodbye to our Hostel and Friends....sad indeed!

And the exams aren't doing anything to lift my spirits either....they've been PATHETIC so far.And on top of that there is our recruitment drive next semester.Urrgghhh...do the exams have to be messed up only in this Semester???

Well whatever it is...its my life,and I have to face it...right?So here I am,going on in my life with an uncertain future *Sigh*

Still,that doesn't mean am all sad and gloomy...am still much the same...although I do worry a lot nowadays! :(

Anyways,sparing you from more bore..I'll buzz off for now...enjoying a 15-day holiday between two exams(Yes you read it right...for one exam we've got 15 days leave!).

Cheers....Have a Happy Week Ahead! :)
Keep Smiling!!! :) :) :)

Emotional Fool

2011-04-13T16:55:00.001+05:30

Oh,I know you,always crying your heart out,
wanting to burst,wanting to shout,
but you keep a smile on your face for the sake of others,
thinking this the life you deserve....

How many times have you wiped your tears,
for someone who hasn't been sincere,
or those who have insulted you,trampled you,
yet you still care for them too...

You believe everyone is true,
you wish on falling stars too,
but you never realise,
"friends",so glibly tell lies....

The more you try to be good,
you more you doubt for what you stood,
the people,my dear,are just pushing you around,
like they would a helpless hound...

No matter what people tell you,you still listen to them,
you believe it when they tell you you're their gem,
I hope you realise,this world is so cruel,
and you are nothing but an emotional fool

Do we need a Revolution?

2011-04-07T23:03:00.000+05:30

The one thing thats resonating lately in the minds of Indians is the stand against corruption.Yes,I have been greatly influenced by it too,as been so many other students of my age group.I do hope the issues for which Anna Hazare is fighting for get full support and the voices for change don't die out soon.

But,on the whole,I feel corruption is not something that we should work on from Top-to-Bottom,rather it works from Bottom-to-Top.From the office peon to the Manager,to the CEO,to the Chairman...corruption has touched everyone.

We speak of revolution now.But it is famously said Public Memory is short-lived always.We see,we make noise,we move on.Thats why the Politicians' don't really care what the people are demanding at what time,because it doesn't really matter-we won't remember it for long.

What really makes a difference is how we change ourselves.If WE pledge to fight corruption in our day-to-day lives,if WE start thinking of India as a country rather than as a group of states,if WE believe we are every bit responsible for our country,if WE build the patriotism in us,then I think half of the problems faced by our country would be solved.

The mindset needs to change,not the Bills or Laws.Maybe its wishful thinking,since our country's corruption level has gone past the point-of-no-return,but at least if we try,we can bring a change thats more long-lasting.

I fully support the India Against Corruption move,but before that I would also like to know which India is being talked about?United or divided? If united,then tell me how is India really united?All five regions of our country are fighting for separate issues!

I can see I am digressing a lot,since there are two issues I am switching back and forth to and not making my point clear.But I do know that yes,inspite of whatever I mentioned about changing one's mindset,we do need a revolution,to drive the point of "need-for-change" into our heads.

Cheers...Have a Happy Week ahead! :)

Why I love CRICKET...

2011-04-03T15:25:00.005+05:30

Finally,the Cricket World Cup is ours! After a month of hearing cricket,cricket and cricket all around,I am glad it ended nicely :-)

Personally,I am not very fond of the game(rather,I wasn't).I don't have the patience to watch 50 overs,or worse,those test matches which go on and on(although people say that the Test Matches depict real cricket).Still,when its India playing,I do keep myself updated about the scores and wickets :-)

I am glad I was in my Hostel for this World Cup.Of course there were ego clashes between different groups of girls(one group cheering in Hindi and the other in Tamil),still,the Final Match was something to be seen(in my Hostel,i.e).

Everyone,even the Wardens,cheering "India! India!",as if we're watching the match live in the Stadium(the TV here is pretty small,such that we have to refer to people at the front for the scores :-P).Everyone forgetting the differences and cheering,abusing players who misses a catch,letting out collective "oh no!" when a player gets out,hissing when the camera focuses on the players of the opponent team (:-P),going "oh-so-cute!!" for the young(and even old) players,and just shouting for no reason at all when we see Sachin Tendulkar on screen:-).
And of course...the usual "Expert Advice",even though we don't know much about the game :-P.

Yes,its much more comfortable watching at home-we can see the scores clearly,we can have something to munch in between,and the TV hall here is pretty stuffy and hot.But,even though we were sweating more than the players on screen,and perhaps more worried about the batsmen getting out than their girlfriends,and the excitement of each ball...the feeling is something unexplainable,and joy of celebrating together is simply unmatchable :)

"Hey 4 runs in 12 balls!"
"That Umpire is blind! Its NOT OUT!"
For any bowler of the opponent team who bowls well and takes wickets-"To hell with him! Why did he come to play today!!!!"
For any batsmen of the opponent team scoring well-"Oh God...please make him get Out make him get Out...!!!"

So you see,despite the language differences,despite the ego clashes,and despite the heat and uncomfortable chairs,we still cheered on.It seemed that the whole hostel was down at the TV hall,watching,cheering.

Thats why I love cricket.It unites Indians during the World Cup.And it'll now pitch the same players against one another for the IPL season :-P

Cheers...Have a Happy Week Ahead !!!
:-)

P.S: After the World Cup,now we'll be cheering for the IPL.No prizes for guessing which team we'll support :-P

God And Me....again!

2011-03-17T19:02:00.000+05:30

I was sitting alone on a bench one day,brooding over my fight with my best friend.I was so drowned in my thoughts,that I didn't notice that God was standing in front of me.

"Hello?Anyone there?",He asked,bending down to see my face,that was not really much watchable at that moment.

I looked up and said,"Oh,how come you're here,I didn't call you now."

A little ruffled at my statement,He said stiffly "Well,I was passing by,so thought of visiting you.So why there is this storm on your face?"

"Nothing,just had a fight with my friend."

"Oh,is that all?",He grinned,I glared.

"Yes.I said things to her I shouldn't have said"

"Oh,so its your big blabbering mouth again",He guffawed loudly,and I glared even more.

"Okay okay,stop glaring at me,I might melt.Hmm....so what now?Shedding tears or hurling abuses?"

"Hmm...neither.Am just thinking about my behavior."

"You humans are so peculiar....you make mistakes,hurt the other person,and then you repent.But I wonder how many of you really go and say Sorry sincerely !"

"Huh?I do say Sorry...that too sincerely!"

"What about this time?I don't think you've apologised to your friend till now.",He said,sitting down beside me.

"Yeah,I haven't yet.Maybe we'll be all right by tomorrow"

"But it doesn't hurt to say Sorry,my child.You apologise,then leave the decision to the other person whether or not she wants to accept your apology gracefully or reject it unkindly.Saying sorry doesn't really mean you go down one step down,it means you've grown up!"

"Hmm....I know all of that..but still...I only say Sorry all the time.Why should I?When will the other person realise that mistake is their's?"

"Ha ha ha! You're so silly.I have told you,you'll not lose any of your pride...rather your value increases.Try saying sorry to everyone you've hurt...and make their heart melt,and let their blessings reach you",He smiled...and I smiled too.

"All right,I'll go now,hope you and your friend do get back together again,so that you forget Me for sometime :-P."

As He got up,He stepped on my foot accidently.

"Watch out! Can't you see?!!!",I nearly screamed.By then,He had flown away.Huh,He didn't even say SORRY :|

P.S:
Hey people...am back again(Yeah right....my being back implies I'll be absent from the blog for a fortnight :P)
I was busy with the Group Dance thing for the Culturals(Our Department got the 3rd place :P)....so was tired,hopeless,hopeful,energetic,happy,sad,doubtful,confident etc etc at the same time.

And don't worry,as such there is no great problem between me and my best friend....but I was just brooding over how a simple Sorry can halt so many arguments!

After a month!

2011-03-01T21:41:00.000+05:30

Its been a month since I blogged last....phew! What happened in this one month?
>My birthday! (12th Feb)
>I'll be dancing in the Cultural Event at my college (Group Dance),hence bunking classes a lot(for practice)!
>I've become very emotional...missing a friend very much :-(
>Thinking a lot these days;nothing much constructive though.:-P
>Missing talking to God;seems He's also angry with me. :-(

Yeah I know,I had promised I won't whine much this year,that I'll find myself again,that I'll love myself.But its too easier to promise,hard to implement!

" There are some silences which you need to hear,
  some tears which you should see in smiles,
  some calls by friend in distress which you need to understand,
  some tremor you should feel beneath a strong voice."

Okay okay...I'll try to be more cheerful and write more Happy posts! :-)

Cheers!
Have a Happy Week Ahead! :-)

Lonely again

2011-01-28T20:20:00.003+05:30

In a crowd of people,
one feels alone,
Everything is there,
but yet nothing for own,
A smile cheers a little,
A small talk touches the heart,
but the happiness is brittle,
it doesn't last long,
Something is pushing,
The tears onto the eyes,
but really there is no reason to cry,
one knows this feeling,this loneliness,
and that it wont last long,
but still the heart searches in the crowd,
Something thats one's own.

Need for Space in any relationship

2011-01-23T16:10:00.004+05:30

In any relationship,there is a "you" and there is a "me".They clash,sometimes "You" dominating over "Me" or "Me" dominating over "You".In either case,it leads to unhappiness,pain and all sorts of negative emotions.

Some people may argue that when you're comfortable in a relationship,such problems are rare.That means either they've submitted themselves to being bossed around or vice versa.Its human tendency to try to gain command or to follow command.Its very very difficult to strike a balance.And its also very difficult to understand and respect the other person's point of view.

Even the closest of friendship will have such barriers.Its unavoidable.As we've all studied in our Science lessons at school,the ideal conditions don't actually exist.So rather than thinking the clashes will cease for themselves,we can of course try and think on the lines of the other person too.

Apart from such clashes,we also need to respect the other person's lifestyle or habits.Even the closest of friends who're supposed to have shared everything,may want to hold back something;not because they wish to hide something about their lives but because for their friendship,it may be unimportant.

Many times,we unknowingly hurt the other person by charging into the their life.You can get close to a person,not own them.Of course,we might do so with good intentions,but we're actually strangulating the other person's wishes and thoughts.Doing so,we might lose that person altogether!

So you see,everyone needs space.It takes a lot of effort to accept the fact that the other person has his or her own ambitions,habits,lifestyle,thoughts,reactions,actions et cetra.We have to trust them to remember us even when they're happy in their space.Can we manage to so do?

Cheers....Have a Happy Week ahead!!!!!!!
:-) :-) :-)

What is the use of this Education?

2011-01-16T17:28:00.007+05:30

Generally,all social problems are supposed to be solved by one "weapon"--Education.Only educated people can solve the problems that are posing as a threat to the society.

Its funny now,that most of the "educated" people themselves are the very problems.The "educated" people don't really guarantee that they'll behave the way a socially-aware person should,do they?

In wikipedia,there are many definitions given for Education.One of them being:
"In its technical sense, education is the process by which society deliberately transmits its accumulated knowledge,skills and values from one generation to another."

So that means our values teach us to keep quiet when something wrong happens,not to follow rules,not to respect the other person's space,and indulge in all sorts of malpractices to attain our goals.Right?

The fact is that most of the heinous crimes in the country are committed by our very own "educated people".From a mother being killed because her sons(one an MBA,and another a class XII student) thought she was possessed,to so many murders(including female infanticide) in which the culprit turns out to be a such-and-such degree holder!

What is missing then?Sound moral teaching?Perhaps.Our lives are the results of the impressions made into our minds during our childhood.

But lets get it a bit deeper into it.Teaching imples teachers.Good teaching implies good teachers.Does that mean the teachers are themselves losing their own values as to what exactly the job of the teacher is?Well,you can't blame them either,can you?Paltry salary,a thankless job,and to top it all,they are always the ones blamed for any or every misdeed students do.They have a right to live too...you know.And also,the IT booms and such boring things have clashed any hopes of people who would have otherwise wanted to be a teacher.Reason?"lack of volumnous income" etc.

Well of course,only teachers aren't responsible.One doesn't say that change the teachers and thou personality shall change.But when you see less of grumbling,unapproachable,always shouting,sarcastic teachers,and more of teachers who enjoy their work(and more importantly,know their work!)...then one can see a general transformation in students...those who may as well turn out to be fine citizens.Yes,in today's world,fine citizens are nearly non-existent...but we can get at least some better citizens,can't we?

Sorry I digressed from my question....but seriously,who needs an education that doesn't teach us to think creatively?Let alone thinking,that doesn't let us do the right thing! As an example,isn't it shameful that despite being "educated",we don't stop giving bribes,don't stop wasting electricity,don't stop being hypocrites,don't stop being unlawful citizens,we don't pay our taxes....and so on and on. Then I guess we don't have any rights to say that there are uneducated MPs and MLAs in the government.Why not?Educated people aren't doing anything to stop them doing mumble-jumble things,right?

The need of the hour is perhaps to educate people-not only to be engineers or doctors,but also to be human,and not some remote controlled moron who knows how to work on the computer as much as he knows how to pull the trigger.

A happy Generation next shall only imply more tolerance,more brotherhood,less depression.And that lies in the hands of teachers.And the future teachers rely on the present generation's outlook of life.

Anyone listening?

P.S:
Those who read this,drop in your comments please.

For a friend whom I haven't understood...

2011-01-10T22:29:00.001+05:30

Walking through the streets of my thoughts,
I chanced upon a window,
I didn't recognise it at first,
but then I realised it was your world.

It was peculiar,

to see your world so close,

it was exciting,

more so because it had different rules.

There were lightnings on a sunny day,

rivers flowing up the mountains,

animals that talked,birds that sang,

but surprisingly less humans,.

Everyone went their own way,

nobody disturbed the other,

the temperature soared when you were angry,

and it froze when you were lonely.

There were many deserts,

where it showed your hurt,

there were rains too,

when you were cared for.

Strangely,there were no doors for your world,

only a window or two,

it was so beautiful inside,

I envied those who were welcome in there.

I tried to find a way,

but the window didn't open,

maybe I didn't open it the right way,

or maybe I was at the wrong window...

P.S.:

Am back from home!!! :-) :-)

Anyways,the above poem is for a friend of mine who's a bit of a loner,who doesn't know why the world is indifferent to him,and what is wrong(with him or the world).:-P

Cheers!!

Have a happy week ahead!!! :-)

The Difference

2011-01-03T00:29:00.000+05:30

I have always wondered-what sets the successful people apart?What is the difference between the unsuccessful people and the successful people?

Of course hard work,positive attitude,courage,focus,etc etc are the qualities that are associated with a successful person.But put apart all that,there must be something else that makes them distinct,right?

How can one tell who'll be successful? Does their behavior differ from others? How about their attitudes?How do they think?(with brains of course :-P).How do they face any problem? Are they too focused to stifle their emotions?How do they set their priorities in life?

Some say its inborn talent that drives you through.Likewise,maybe some people have that talent to be successful no matter what.But apart from that,there are many many people whom I've come across,who have talent,but somehow don't get their due.In fact,people with lesser talent get more fame at times than those who actually deserve it.

No,am not talking about luck.Luck is something which we fall back on when we are too lazy to think the hows and whys of any situation.Then what is it that sets apart the successful and the not-so-successful ones?

Who are the unsuccessful ones then?Those who want to slip into the crowd unnoticed,afraid of attention,afraid of responsibility,afraid of anything good thats happening....and most importantly-afraid of themselves!

Hmm...

Well,I still haven't yet found the answer to my question.But apart from the usual heavy sounding words I mentioned,there still must be something else that sets them apart.Ain't it?

P.S: Btw,am at home for a week!!! Enjoying the single-digit temperature out here.:-P

Cheers!!!!!!!!!!!

Have a happy week ahead! :-)

Happy New Year!!! :) :) :)

2010-12-31T19:02:00.001+05:30

Phew!!! Finally the New Year has arrived! Even those down-in-the-dumps find something to cheer about the new year.Like something good is sure to happen.Like all the problems in our lives will vanish.Sigh! Its such a deceptive thing,this New Year Day and all the that.Still,one can't escape the optimism it brings.:-D

Looking back,my year had been pretty much topsy-turvy.People came and went.Some friends remained while some said goodbye.Some people cared whenever I cried.Okay,I won't go into poetry again.:-P.

I blogged less,concentrated less,thought more,worried more,and etc etc.So this year,I've vowed that no matter what happens,I'll just love myself for what I am.I guess a clear conscience is the greatest promise one can make to oneself...isn't it?

So the year 2011 will be an exploration to find myself again. :-)

I had been whining to go home for sometime now.And guess what? We've got one week holiday! Hence yours truly is going home....tomorrow! :).See,I told you God is a Cool Guy. :-P

So to put it short,my New Year Resolution is to Stop Whining and Start Breathing! :-)

Hope you all have some New Year Resolutions too! If so,please do share it here.(Maybe your New Year Resolution will remind to add another Resolution to my list :-P)

Keep Smiling....! :-)

Have a HAPPY YEAR ahead! :-) :-) :-)

Having a daughter....

2010-12-08T18:59:00.000+05:30

When I have a daughter,
I'll watch her grow,
from a tiny toddler,
to a bashful woman...

She'll resemble her father,
and I'll be proud of that,
I'll surrender to her,
when we have a spat...

She'll tell her problems to me,
but keep favouring her daddy,
I won't mind at all,
she's my daughter,after all...

She'll grow up more,
and I'll worry for her,
she'll laugh at my worries,
but understand me for sure...

I'll make her study,help her achieve,
She'll work hard too,strengthening my belief,
I'll proudly tell she's my daughter,
Such that those boasting of sons will envy her....

When she'll get married and go away,
I'll miss her terribly,but I wont say,
she'll call me daily,with endless queries,
she'll teach me new things,I'll follow what she says,

I'll be proud when she too has a daughter,
whom I'll doubly favour,
it'll all be over,when I'll die peacefully,
but our bond would always remain unique,and that'll make me happy.

Where is MY life headed?

2010-11-28T13:57:00.002+05:30

Okay,its official-I am going mad.Semester Exams are going on and my senses have gone on a vacation.Boohoo!

Whats making me mad? Well,just about everything.I don't understand why all the important things that I should've thought when I was free should come and crowd my head now.Its EXAMS time,for God's sake!

Whats my aim in life? What'll I do?What do I want?What I don't want?What do I like? What do I hate? What kind of a person am I? What kind of a person do I want to be? Why the digital filters in Digital Signal Processing can't filter out my thoughts? What should I do?What I should never do? Friends or love? Do I really need to fall in love at this age? Should I trust my friends? Will they be there for me always? What am I without them? Who am I? Who am I for others?

These are the very FEW questions that are circulating in my head for the past two weeks.Now last exam is on 1st.Already I messed up 3 subjects.One more to go(Total 6 subjects).

I seriously don't know what I am going to do.I know I should not be thinking about the (currently) useless stuffs such as these,but what to do? Mind is swifter than Wind (or something like that).

Already I am depressed that I am not doing my exams well(not all exams actually).On top of that I can't strangle the voice which calls me a loser.That says I can't do anything worthwhile in life.That calls me a coward.That tells me about my failures.

When will I finally accept myself?! I mean seriously,its high time I stopped blaming myself for everything.And its high time everyone stopped telling me how I am.I know it.Yes,I never stick to one thing,I am too fickle.But at least am not rigid,I can easily mingle with anyone!

Wait a minute,why am I suddenly explaining myself? And for what? For whom? You didn't ask for it,right? Then who is asking these explanations?

Hmm...I am still thinking.Can't help it.

Till then.Ciao
Cheers....:)
Have a happy week ahead

P.S: Don't forget to wish me luck for my last exam.(at least that exam I should write properly :P)
P.P.S: Well I am not really stressed out coz of the exams,I am just stressed out coz of the questions in my head :P

God and Me...Part-4

2010-10-23T10:41:00.000+05:30

Are you there?

Are you listening?

Why don't I feel your presence around me?

Are you alive?

Please reply!

After a long,long time,which seemed like a decade,something crashed in my room(that was the window),and God appeared.As always,with a tired look and a frown.

"What happened to you now?Did you mess up your Semester Practicals?" He asked,obviously sarcastic.

"Huh.No.I did OK enough.I was just feeling lonely,so called you."

His eyes widened,and he looked as if he was about to burst ."You think I run a helpline centre to talk to lonely people.That too lonely people like YOU! I have given you enough friends who understand you well.Go and talk to them! I am helping so many others! Humph!!!!"

I looked at Him,anger and sadness making a lethal combination in my head,and all I could manage was,"Fine.Go away.I won't call you again ever."

As soon as I uttered those words,God disappeared and the window was mended by itself too.

A few hours later,He reappeared.This time without breaking the door or window.He stood in front of me,but I hardly cared.Why should I care for people who don't care for me?

"Hmm,I was very stressed that time,thats why said all those things.Now tell me why are you lonely?"

I didn't respond.I didn't feel like responding.He was busy,I was an added burden.Then why....

"You're not a burden my dear.Tell me why you're lonely" He said,surprisingly gentle.

I shot back,"You're reading my thoughts! Then why don't you figure out why I am feeling lonely despite being surrounded by friends?"

He heaved a sigh and sat down near me.Maybe I was being too harsh on Him.

"Look here my dear.What you're going through right now is just a stage when you would want to be alone,but yet be with everybody.You're just trying to find yourself in a crowd,by being away and observing yourself and others.Why are you worrying about it? It'll be fine in a few days.It happens with everybody."

"That doesn't mean you shouldn't care for me."

"I do care for you.A lot! Just because your phone got messed up and your SIM card blocked doesn't mean I don't care.I've told you before too that I give tiny problems just to make you strong.You never understand me! I should be the lonely person here! ".Wow! God is good with drama too!

"Oh",was all that I could reply in return.

"Am here my child.Talk to me.I am listening.I am always there for everybody",He said,with a gentle,sweet smile.

"Okay,tell me about your Semester Practicals.I saw you were getting a light ticking off for your Power Electronics Lab.What was it about?"

Like a balloon filled with air,I suddenly felt light."Actually what happened was that as I was doing the experiment,the current in the device....."

Something beeped,and I saw that God received a text message on His phone.(Huh,He has a mobile phone too!).

He read the message and I could see He was frowning more and more.

"Am so sorry my dear,I have to leave now.Emergency.A little boy is calling me.He wants to win a running-race.The race is about to begin.I have to hurry.And oh,by the way,I have given you good friends,talk to them,be with them,open up to them!And remember,am always here!Take care!"

With that,he broke open the door and vanished.

His words were ringing in my ears "Am here my child.Talk to me.I am listening.I am always there for everybody".

Yeah right.

Left Alone

2010-10-02T19:42:00.004+05:30

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 15; the fifteenth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

The old railway station in the city stood,

battered and forgotten,

It seemed to be waiting for someone to come,

Or something to happen...

The station wasn't always deserted,

Some came to play,some came for drugs,

But apart from that,nothing else breathed,

Even air seemed to be afraid there.

It hadn't been like this before,

When the city was actually a small town,

When there were people filling up this space,

It was all before the town had grown....

As the town grew up to be a place now everyone knows,

The needs of this adolescent changed,

The loyal station was not needed now,

As the trains won't have a halt there.

A new station,bigger and better,was built,

People welcomed it,and forgot its elder brother,

Which abruptly became empty,like a condemned place,

But still it stood,braving against all weathers...

The trains pass the station,but none stop,

It seems the trains look piteously at the giant,

But the station just stares,it still has hopes,

That someone will come for it,that something will surely happen...

Credits
Image - Alston Station by Wandering Soul
Courtesy - www.deviantart.com via www.blogaton.in

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

True love....

2010-08-31T00:27:00.002+05:30

It was a winter morning,when I was out for a stroll,
that a miracle happened,and I met this girl.
Nothing unearthly about her,just a simple lady,
but her face,drove me crazy.

What a coincidence,she was my sister's friend,
what a nightmare,she may not even consider me as a friend.
She came home often,but rarely noticed me,
but just one glance of hers,greatly enticed me.

Moving the story forward,I would say we did become friends,
and you do know this,don't you?A boy-girl being just friends for long has never been a trend.
Inseparable we were,though we did have our fights,
but it was all sorted out,before the end of the night.

A particular time of ours,I would like to mention,
when it was her b'day,and we were having a celebration.
I was holding her close,and she looked so stunning,
"can I kiss you?",I couldn't refrain from asking.

She looked up at me,those beautiful eyes having tiny tears,
No,she said,and buried her head in my shoulders.
It was beautiful,we both together,
it was terrible,this moment will soon get over.

The next day,I got the message that she's left,
with her family to someplace else,and here I was,everything bereft.
What was it that took her away,what was it that she never told me?
I may have hurt her,but did I hurt her so badly?

I was angry and sad,I couldn't think,
I was going mad,it seemed I had reached my brink.
I wanted to know,why?,did i not refrain myself?
Wasn't I loyal?And she'll have to answer all this, herself.

Skipping the part as to how I found her out,but she was now somewhere in a village,
living a life of a saint,till she saw my broken image.
She seemed more pure,more heavenly,more beautiful,
but her presence there still surprised me.

We sat down on a bench,not knowing what to say,
the sun setting down,the sky a wonderful gray,
"I know why you've come,to get your answers,
you deserve them,but its better we go separate ways,as I suffer from aids"

"I was true to you,but long back,I had an accident,
that was when I was given blood that was infected,
I couldn't say no to your love,but I couldn't spoil your life,
now you know the reason,why I cant be your wife."

My world fell apart,not because I wanted her body,
but to think that,she had been through such agony.
"listen here,no matter what,you're mine and I cant let go,
I would still say this,that I want to be with you"

Disbelief and gratitude came as tears in her eyes,
once again she buried her face on my shoulders,
and again I asked,"can I give you a kiss"?
By way of an answer,she lifted her face,and let me tell you,that feel still remains afresh.

Are we raising a generation of Burnt Out Children?

2010-08-25T22:54:00.000+05:30

This is my topic for presentation in "Communication Skills Lab" in my college.Here,I have presented my views on the topic as I have understood it.Your views may differ with the topic,and you are free to put forth your own views....(Sorry for the loooooong length!)

**************************************************************************************

Childhood is the most colourful phase of one’s life. We learn by making mistakes. We grow mature gradually, not abruptly. It’s the carefree time of our life. When we have real hobbies passions and dreams. Sadly, that’s all changing.

In earlier days, life was never controlled by tests, tuitions, exams and such things. Parents had time for their children. Life wasn’t all about getting a job in a big company with a big pay cheque. People pursued what they liked. Intelligence wasn’t counted by which college you got into. Children behaved like children, with thirst for knowledge.

Nowadays childhood has a different meaning altogether. It’s dominated by being the smartest, tuitions, hobby classes, peer pressure and what not. Childhood is now a complicated phase.

The ‘intention’ behind pushing the children hard is to ‘nurture’ them to face the competitive world. Developing talent is not a sin; it will help the child in his future. It is a trickledown effect from the kind of competition experienced for entry into engineering colleges, graduation and others. Today’s world demands ordinary people with extra skills to survive. As Darwin`s theory says-natural selection or in other words survival of the fittest.

The basic needs of childhood are, time to play, place to play and explore the world through his eyes. In the name of competition we are raising fatigued, stressed, and overburdened children with no sound moral values. The stress is resulting into children engaging in all kinds of derogative acts.

Competition is such that today`s world demands good grades in schools, colleges to get a good job to earn their living. Competition is the need of the hour, we can`t deny that but what is worrying is the fact that parents push their children to their limits which makes children’s life tougher. Parents need to understand that everyone has different capabilities. Every individual has a special quality. Instead of encouraging that skill, parents want their children to achieve what they themselves couldn’t achieve.

Today parents don`t have time for their children to listen to them. Teachers demand work within a short period of time. So it makes students life tougher. And then we have tuitions as we need ‘extra skills’ to get through competitive examinations apart from regular classes in school. And what make matters worse are higher expectations from parents and teachers alike. Parents and teachers force students to take part in extracurricular activities which in turn increases load on children.

In the name of making the Education System more student-friendly, the students are actually made to bear more stress. The teacher-student relationship is now warped. The insecure student’s mind is now more than confused. Bundled up with an emotional dilemma with the pressure of performing well, the students eventually burn out. Their identity is lost.

Instead what the education system should do is train the teachers such that the student-teacher rapport is impeccable. Exams are important, yes. They make you able to face failures. But that does not mean exams should be made such a big issue that students commit suicide when their results don’t meet their parents expectations.

People should also understand that stress management is not a subject that can be taught. Children burdened with such high expectations are also expected to ‘handle’ pressure well enough. But what would an 11 year-old know about what is stress?

Peer pressure has been present since earlier times. But now suddenly it has become an important issue. More so because the peer pressure now is not as healthy as it should be. The only question that arises is: Is being better than your neighbour’s/relative’s/friend’s child would imply that the child in question is intelligent?

Here come the so-called Reality Shows. The reality shows on TV show how much a child has been put through and how broken he/she becomes. That’s another thing that bothers children-the inability to perform, or in other words, the fear of failure. The young and impressionable mind is now also a diffident mind. Parents fight on camera saying their child has been voted out due to favoritism, whereas they should be with their child and telling him or her that it’s okay to fail and should boost their confidence.

It is true that competition is growing day by day but childhood is the age for playing, making friends, etc. Of course, things are changing and CBSE has taken the right step by providing Board exams as optional for students and introducing grading system that may reduce the stress among students. But the main step should be taken by parents by giving their children care and guidance at home. It’s time they open their eyes to see their children yearning for their love. Teachers can make studies more entertaining by taking real life examples and interacting more with students to give them the comfort they want.

It’s not really the children’s fault; after all, they just observe what goes on around them.

Just because she's a girl

2010-08-20T23:23:00.001+05:30

Sitting on the bench,the little girl was alone,
her face showed how quickly she had grown,
although she was still small and fragile,
after all, she was still a child.

I went up to her and sat by her side,
her innocent eyes opened up wide,
i smiled,and she returned it,
now she seemed more relaxed.

"why arent you playing,dear?",
i asked,pointing to others who were playing in that park,
she shook her head,
"am not allowed to play",she said.

"but why?"i asked,surprised,
she looked up,a confusion appearing in her eyes,
"if i play,then who'll look over my little brothers there?",
she looked in the direction where her brothers played.

"but when do you play then?"i asked,still perplexed,
"i dont,i help my mother cook,",the girl replied,
"and look after my brothers",
there was an innocent pride in those words.

"dont you go to school?",i asked,more interested,
"i do,though my mother doesnt like me getting educated,
but i want to study more,
but thats not possible for sure".

"hey come fast you stupid girl",we heard someone calling,
she jumped in fright and replied,stammering,
"am coming mother,just a minute",
she turned to me and waved,shyly apologetic.

"but why do you do all this?dont you feel sad?",i asked near tears,
she stopped in her tracks hearing my words,
she turned around,and gave a smile so mature,
"thats because am a girl"

I went home that day, disturbed and upset,
I didn’t know why suddenly i was filled with regret,
My little daughter came running up to me,
"Can we go and play mummy?"

I shook my head, unable to say a thing,
For an unknown reason, my heart was grieving,
I don’t know how my daughter knew that I wasn’t happy,
but she said, it’s okay, I'll play with daddy!

Looking back now ,I was a pampered child,
the young daughter, I was never obedient and always wild,
I did whatever I wanted,
and my family always supported.

I was successful, and now i was married and loved,
but thinking about that little girl, my heart moved,
‘coz she simply did what was told to her,
just because she was a girl.

I was happy ,as I was never burdened,
I was happy, as I never sacrificed,
but today I was defeated by this little woman,
who bonded with me for no reason.

The next day I went in search of that girl,
and I found her again, sitting alone,
without preamble, I said "Come with me, I'll help you get whatever you want,
I'll fulfill whatever your demands"

She was shocked to say the least, to see my sudden outburst,
she stared at me for some time, and said "I can’t come".
"Why can’t you?" I asked angrily, "You still want those who insult you so easily? I'll help you, why don’t you understand,
I’ll do for you whatever I can"

The girl looked at me and asked,
"Will you leave your family if they treat you badly?",
I was stunned had never thought like this,
it was like she had jolted me from my dreams.

Would i leave my husband if he slapped me once?
Would i not forgive when my children ask for forgiveness?
What’s the diff between the girl and me?
Like me, she too loved her family.

"I was told by my grandma, girls shouldn’t be unforgiving,
it’s in their blood to be caring,
it’s an honor for a girl when she helps her family,
‘coz her help is the one that no one can repay easily"

I drank in this piece of wisdom, coming from this child so young,
I realized though we were far apart yet were wound,
by a thread so delicate but strong,
but my assumptions about this girl were just proven wrong.

She was happy with her family, even though they treated her badly,
maybe she hoped someday they'll be sad,
for all the words they said to her,
but she'll tell them she doesn’t bother.

Her mother, who had been listening all the while,
came running to her child,
she held her in her close, not letting go,
maybe she wanted to say more, but all she said was, “I am so proud of you"

Can't think of a title

2010-08-09T21:40:00.000+05:30

The sound of laughter filled the rooms,
The pitter-pat of little feet all around,
Silence was allowed inside,
Only by the guard of night....

The children were there,
all different from one another,
but they all had one thing in common,
they had no one-no mother,no father,no brother,no sister.

Yes,they were orphans,with nobody to call as their own,
They were orphans,some with families they've never known,
All with a different past,a different gene,
All with a same future,at least for the time being....

They don't know whether to be happy or sad,
when one of their friends is adopted,
when the friend gets a new family,
but isn't it normal to feel some jealousy?

Young or old,lucky or not,this is their place for a while,
No matter how much they hide,
the sadness of their life,
you can see the want of love,omnipresent in their eyes.....

Hey Anu...listen!

2010-07-31T17:58:00.000+05:30

All these days,I have been quiet and tolerant,
Waiting for you for so long,
Wishing you would come and talk to me like before,
But I guess I was wrong....

I know you have been very busy,
With your college and now some hobby classes,
But don't you see I am waiting for you tirelessly?
That even I need you attention!

Why don't you realise?I miss your stories and thoughts and poems,
I miss you being here thinking out loud,
Am I so worthless to you?
because I am just a blog????
*********************************************************
I am sorry my dear blog,
my dear poetry-space,
my way to enriching experience,
my tolerant friend,
my writing enhancement,
my way to escape,to that place,
where my thoughts get new shapes,
where my words get new meanings,
where my emotions know no endings,
my way to sanity,my display of insanity,
I have also missed you,but I was so lazy,
My thoughts were so random,
and strength I couldn't fathom,
to put them in order and present to you,
thats why I didn't appear for nearly a month or two,
Don't think I ever forgot you,
That I would never do,
I always love you,will always do,
oh my dear,dear blog!
:)
****************************************************
Hey People!
Sorry for my long leave! :(
I returned to college on 5th July....and whoa! I adjusted without much fuss and homesickness this time!
I am in the Third Year now...wow....now I am Super-Senior :D :D :D
Oh well will write more from now,since my bloggy dear has complained! :(
Keep Smiling!
Have a happy weekend.......!!!!!!!!!
:) :) :)

Buzzes....am still here!

2010-06-05T22:33:00.002+05:30

"She sat alone,engulfed by grief and some anger too,
She should have helped her sister,should have read her mind,
Should have sensed her sister's depression lead her to commit suicide,
The phone rang,and she answered ,"This is tele-counseling,how can I help you?"

**************************************************
Okay I know its tragic.Inspired from a newspaper article.

My holidays are going great! Hope your life is going great too!

Well lately,loads of philosophical stuffs are hovering in my head.But I am too lazy to type it out as blog post.Anyways,we always hear advices all around us.Then whats the use of me also donating some advice? Eat,drink and be merry.:D

The only thing I learnt lately was that things are fine as long as you are friends with your own self.If you fight with yourself about anything,you don't gain anything,you rather lose your peace of mind.To trust anyone,we should first trust ourselves.Love ourselves.Respect ourselves.Then only can we accept others as they are.And to be happy,we have to accept people as they are(till they are in their limits,of course).

Its true! I used to loathe a friend of mine as she always does everything way too slow.But then I realised that no matter how much time she took,at least she did the work correctly! So as time passed,I began to undertsand her and nowadays I don't give her any work at all :P

Well thats all for now.Whoo! This has been one random post!

Cheers everybody.Remember,next time you want to just lose your temper over someone,try looking at things from their perspective.See if that helps you to cool down and understand the situation better!

Oh by the way,Happy World Environment Day! :)
Lets do our bit to help the environment! So shut down your computer and go do your work(before doing that please do post a comment :P)
On a serious note,lets just hope that we don't plant trees,don't save water,don't pollute land or air,don't conserve fuels ONLY on this day.Please.Lets do our effort.You know the saying (or maybe you don't)-

"Take care of small things and the larger things will be taken care of".....

Anyways,take care.Not only of yourself and your family and your friends,but also your planet.Its calling for help.Can you hear?

Urgh....I didn't really mean to make it an Environmental post....but well,it somehow traveled on to that track! :(

Have a happy week ahead! :)

Back Home! Yippee!

2010-05-16T11:21:00.000+05:30

Hellos!!!!!

After battling through the exams all these days....finally its holiday time!
For around a month and a half!! :)

The sad thing is that our MBA akka...(the 3rd roomie of mine) would've vacated the hostel and would be living as Paying Guest near our college.She joined us in September,when the new students were asked to adjust with the already existing ones...hence our room,which was originally could accommodate 3 people,got a new entry...and that was our MBA akka (Akka means elder sister,or didi in Hindi).

What did Akka teach us? Well she taught us one important thing-to accept people as they are.She also unknowingly taught us how to share like family instead of being formal.Initially when she joined,she would take our buckets or detergents etc without asking us.Although I found that peculiar,but soon all three of us also started using each other's items without asking-like plates,cups,medicines etc.That doesn't mean we are rude.We do inform when we've taken something :P

And yeah...the Final Year students(for whom we also gave farewell!) were vacating too.Our seniors (Third Year students) were all shedding tears.I asked my roomie- Will our juniors cry when we vacate? Thinking about it,we realised that no junior will shed tears for us...as we don't know any juniors in our hostel! They are very very less in number...and well we are too lazy to climb down two floors just to get to know them! Ego problem,you see :P

Well allright.For now its enjoyment time for me.Yippee!!!

That doesn't mean I'll take leave from blogging.I'll surely pop-up to remind everyone that I am still alive :P

Till then...
Cheers!
Have a Happy Week ahead!
:)

This-appearance

2010-04-28T21:28:00.000+05:30

Hello people!

This post has been written in Public interest so that people don't miss me or my posts much for the time being...as the great Exams are starting from tomorrow.:(

Oh by the way,I have a peculiar habit.Whenever I am nervous,I laugh uncontrollably.And I've been laughing all day :P.

Well yeah I am nervous.Tomorrow is Maths (Its called Numerical Methods...hmm...calling a rose by any other name :P).Actually I enjoy Maths....but still exams do give me jitters.Not that I am afraid of the questions or something.My fear mainly is due to my record of doing silliest mistakes in the answer paper.:P

My book is staring back at me.Urgh.Wish it were more friendly. :(

Anyways,I'll go now.Have some revision to do.

Btw,I am also scared that maybe tomorrow early morning I'll get a message saying its not Maths,but Electrical Machines...Oh no!.You don't believe me? Hey it happens! I once went to school thinking it was Hindi exam,but it turned out to be Social Science exam! :P

Okay stop glaring.I'll go,I'll go.
Wish me luck! :)

Cheers!
Have a happy week ahead! :)

Re-surfacing

2010-04-18T02:37:00.001+05:30

The more you try to sneak away,
The more I feel your absence,
The more your absence I feel,
The more I understand your importance....

The more I hear your silence,
The more I want to scream,
The more screams I muffle,
The more closer I get to insanity....

The more I see the change in you,
The more I wonder about the old times and how they were,
The more I wonder about those moments,
The more I wish we were like those days forever...

The more those times appear in my dreams,
The more I wish you were here with me,
The more I wish to have your company,
The more I see how far you are from me....

*****************************************************************
Heya people! Hope your life is going on great.
Well the title and the post has no relation actually :P

So whats going on in my life? University Practical Exams! Oh God! The first practical was something I won't care to talk about(Heehee) and second one (today) was like good only...although the External Examiner who asked the Viva was confused with my answers(The trick was that,although I didn't know much,but stammered the same thing again and again for a long time so she thought maybe I did give the answer :P).In fact,the lady was so exhausted with my answers that she finally asked "Is Electrical Machines such a tough subject?" My reply? A big grin. :P

Okay the third and final Practical is on 20th.Not that I am studying seriously or something.I am not coming online coz most of the times my roomies are using my Laptop for practicing programs and all:P

So till then....
Cheers!
Have a great week ahead! :)
Don't forget to wish me luck! :P

Something like love?

2010-04-03T21:14:00.004+05:30

A sweet smile to welcome you,

a cute frown to admonish you,

So chirpy when you do something for her,

And when she is unhappy,its one hell of a bother!

You would do anything for that smile,

You would miss her dearly,even if its for a while,

You would leave nothing to wipe out that frown off her pretty face,

And your heart just warms up at her unending grace....

Don't know what she talks about,but who cares?

As long as you can listen to whatever she shares,

She always seems to be one step ahead of you in everything,

Doesn't matter,she is with you,that is the important thing.

Its like the world gone wrong when she is sad,

Her sadness drives you mad,

And if she is the one gone mad with fury...

Well,its a never ending story :D

Its so irritating when she scolds and bosses over you,
But its better to listen to the advices she showers on you,
Whatever she says,has something that sets you thinking,
Yeah right! You aren't going to follow,that's another thing! :P

But whatever the place,whatever the time,

I would like to specifically mention in these rhymes,

Perhaps a heartbreak may follow,perhaps a bitterness may be the result,

In the end,I guess its worth it to fall in love with a girl.

=========================================
Endless phone calls till he gets a response,
Some extra attention is all that he wants,
He would call back shamelessly when one has angrily disconnected,
And would go on saying sorry till the apology is accepted..

He is miserable when one is not around,
One makes him miserable when one is really around,
Would never understand when one expresses her feelings,
But nevertheless,he behaves as if he is listening!

Would criticize the person whom one appreciates,
Feels jealous often,and an issue out of nothing he creates,
Cares,but never expresses the right way,
But something is not right when he has got nothing to say...

His silence hurts,his anger scares,
And in his bad moods one never dares,
To say anything or to console or convince,
Frankly,advices make him wince!

When he is upset,the world doesn't matter anymore,
One does everything to see his magical smile once more,
Somehow with soft words he resumes his merriment,
But,for that,one does not get any acknowledgment!

But whatever the outcome,whoever he chooses later,
The care and the emotions are embedded forever,
He may betray,shattering her world,
But,its really beautiful when a boy is loved by a girl...

Loneliness.....and my 50th post!

2010-03-30T23:14:00.001+05:30

Loneliness pains sometimes,
Often providing a shield,
Caring,protecting and gentle,
But deep inside,the wounds don't heal.....

Like the sea that stretches endlessly,
Like the uncaring fishes,
floating carelessly beneath its silky surface,
Loneliness never ceases...its the wall between you and others....

Words don't reach you,
Actions don't touch you,
Others don't exist in this lonely land,
There's just loneliness that's with you....

Hope is a distant emotion,
Nothing seems worthwhile,
Its just indifference all around,
Like there's some disconnection from the world...

For some,loneliness gives way to creative madness,
Opening a new world of fantasy,
For others,its like insanity,
With silent screams,wanting to be heard....

The heart grows cold,
Untouched for such a long time,
Mind is numbed,not wanting to be disturbed,
Like its sleeping all the while....

When it does wake,realization of a snapped bond emerges,
A raw cry erupts,slowly building up in intensity,
The desperation feels like someone is tearing apart your nerves,
You want to be heard,but all you hear is the soft giggle of loneliness....
* * *
Hey people! Its my 50th post ! Yippeee!
Thank God I finished my 50th post before my blog became a year old :P
Hope I reach more such milestones with the help and support of all my regular readers!(And also those whom I threaten and bully to read my blog :P)

Cheers!
Have a happy week ahead! :)

Faith and......patience?

2010-03-28T17:04:00.004+05:30

Yesterday,the juniors(3rd year and 2nd year students) gave the farewell party to the Final Year students(in hostel;from 9pm to 3am :P).
Of course,the atmosphere was very emotional,but since everyone had been shouting and screaming and cheering like mad when anyone danced or sang ,our throats were more drier than the deserts of Africa.(and our water-bottles were thirsty too!)

So,yours truly went and stood in front of the water cooler(our source for edible water :P) with a few bottles,not aware that the water cooler had taken leave for the day.(we'd forgotten to fill our water-bottles beforehand,hence this calamity of water-shortage).

Okay,big deal,I'll go and fill the bottles from other floor.
From fourth floor,down we(me and my roomie) went to third floor.Same story.Then to second floor.Yippee! At least this water cooler gave some water drops! But unfortunately the water cooler gave up its life on seeing us advancing towards it.

Now we climbed up and up till 5th floor.
Me: Dear God,if you really exist,prove your existence now! Please make some water available!
No reaction from water cooler.Huh! So much for my prayer.

Now to 6th floor
Me: Dear God,please...you help people in need...me and my roomies need water.Please.At least if not for me,let my roomies fill the water-bottles,I'll drink water from that!
No reaction again.So much for my drama.

Now we were completely exhausted,hence we just somehow reached our room,threw our bottles,and dozed off...still thirsty.

Later in the morning,I overheard one final year and one 3rd year students talking in the lift.
3rd year akka(didi,or elder sister):We were all so thirsty akka....no water in the water cooler at night!
Final year akka: Hey you know what? I was trying to wake you up so that you can have some water! The water cooler had started working in a few moments!

I was,as usual,caught in a positon where I didn't know what to think.I could hear someone giggling somewhere.....

Cheers...Hope you all have a happy week ahead! :)

Science and Life...?

2010-03-26T22:52:00.001+05:30

In my standard 12th in school,I had learned about Carbon and how many functional groups are present because of it (blah blah blah).In that,I read a concept about how the carbon-chain expands.It goes something like this:

Suppose there are two carbon chains(Or Something Like That,OSLT) and they are supposed to be combined(OSLT)...then suppose the carbon chain 1 fits exactly in the lattice of carbon chain 2,then the whole chain now attains stability and its energy gets reduced.(Energy is inversely proportional to stability).

But suppose the Carbon Chain 1 doesn't fit in the manner(OSLT) but fits as in below,then there is an increased instability and more release in energy.

{The red dots indicate Carbons and dotted lines indicate forces of attraction.}

So whats this got to do with our lives...?

Hmm.....
Our lives are like these carbon chains.Not always we get people whom we get along with..right? If all the people we meet were our friends,would we ever treasure them? No!

But like in the second case,we get people who hurt us,who decrease our mind's stability(peace) and make our blood pressures shoot up! Such people make us realise the goodness of the nice people,who are so nice to us...and who give us hope that there are good people too! :)

So,this unstability leads us to find more friends,rather be un-energetic and stabilise...if that happens,there'll be no more reactions...or you can say life won't go on! :(

Hmm....I think this much philosophy is enough for you all,for now :P

Cheers! Have a happy weekend! :)

P.S:
Sorry for the clumsy drawing...but it was like an Eureka moment when I thought of all this and so drew it all in a hurry :P

By the way,you all are free to express your perceptions about this concept :)

Just a face?

2010-03-17T16:52:00.001+05:30

On my way to college,while waiting for the bus,
I see a woman,neatly dressed.always carrying a little purse,
There is nothing striking about her,except her face,
Which is something extraordinary in so many ways....

Her eyes shine with serene kindness,
Her lips set in a stubborn line of firmness,
Her nose so sharp like it detects all flaws,
No wonder,I always stare at her in awe...

Nothing is disturbed about her,
Like perfection cannot be improved further,
Her presence gives a strange assurance,
Everyone I see nearby have only respect for her...

Whenever she doesn't come,my day has lesser cheer,
Like my inspiration has scuttered away somewhere,
I don't know who she is or where she lives,
No words are ever shared,a pleasant smile is all she gives....

* * *

Sometimes,some unknown faces remain in our memories,although we might not really know about them.Maybe it could've been because of a distant resemblance to someone,their voice,or the way they walked.
While going to school,I used to see one woman who would be on her way for a morning walk.Something about her used to make me stare at her;(she had a prominent face).Gradually,she also started to smile at me,and thus our smile-acquintance began.What happened next?Well,my father got transferred to another place.:P

Although my poem is a piece of imagination,but still,I guess there must be some unknown person whose face you still remember...for any matter.Maybe they helped you in some way,or you both travel in the same bus each day....could be anyone.So is there?Do tell me if you've felt so drawn by an unknown face.:)

Cheers
Have a nice week ahead! :)

Its so painful !

2010-03-11T00:01:00.000+05:30

Strapped like a prisoner,I sat still on the chair,
Fear tearing my heart into pieces,
My heart beat loud enough for everyone to hear,
But all I could do was pray....

A needle pricked somewhere in my body,
Then there was just numbness,
My vision darkened,my head felt light,
And I slowly drifted into drowsiness....

Someone was standing nearby,
Saying something I didn't understand,
From head to toe,he was dressed in white,
And I felt I had reached heaven....

Blood appeared in my mouth,
All salty and thick,
I felt my end is here,
When again,another needle pricked....

Like a video being rewound,
The darkness gradually eased and my vision cleared,
I turned when suddenly I heard a sound,
"Its okay now! Your bad tooth has been removed.."

******************************************************************************

P.S: Hi people!
First of all our department(Electrical and Electronics Engineering) won the first place in the Cultural Programs of our college! Yippeeee! :)
Although I didn't contribute much to anything,still,I cheered like mad,till my throat went hoarse! :P

Secondly,I really have never had a tooth removed...but just had a "root canal" done once.:P

Cheers!
Have a happy week ahead! :)

Can life pause for a minute please??

2010-03-04T21:23:00.000+05:30

"No dear,you don't have the required grace for the dance we need for cultural programs.Please don't mind,but we can't select you for dance".The lecturer ma'am looked so sorry to see me go,as if she knew me by my name.I smiled a deadly smile.That doesn't mean was smile was beautiful.It means I wished she was dead.

Huh.I am depressed.Yes.I have a great interest in dance.And since childhood my name has been associated with only one extracurricular activity-dance.And now in college this lady who herself doesn't know how to dance is telling me I lack the grace???

To top it all,like adding salts to the wound,my room-mate akka(didi) has got a chance to compete in the program.That is tomorrow.I am so jealous.Urgh!

I am feeling worst about myself currently.My confidence has punctured.Come to think of it,my confidence nowadays mostly remains low.Its not only because of dance or something.Nothing I do pleases me,my thoughts are going haywire.But life is rushing on!

Can't it pause for a minute?There is so much in my head going on....I can't think anything right! Maybe thats why I have been absent from my own blog.Not that many people would've missed me anyway.

Theres so many things I want to tell.So many poems,articles,feelings etc etc..but somehow they aren't just flowing out of my head.They are stuck in some thought pipe.

And is there any right way of doing something? I am tired of people telling me that whatever I am thinking is wrong wrong wrong.To hell with everyone else.I think only this way.I can't change myself.

They say everything happens for the good,have patience.I am still waiting.

P.S:
The purpose of this post was nothing great.Its just some venting out of pent up emotions.

Cheers.
Have a happy week and weekend.

Happy Birthday! :)

2010-02-12T20:01:00.000+05:30

Hey people! Its my birthday today! 12th of February!
Okay I know that one is not supposed to be announcing one's own birthday like this,but...hmm...I can't help it!

My celebration started in my Senior's room where my face was decorated with all of the chocolate cake! :P

Then some gift-receiving,and dancing and in between managing phonecalls..:)

Then in the morning,my relatives,long-forgotten acquaintances,friends etc etc were calling and my phone shouted my battery is low! So I kept it to charge and went off to college.At lunch when I returned to my room,I saw that I had 7 messages and 13 missed calls! Wow!

Then there were treats at the canteen,some more gifts,and me here is all smiles :) :)

Well,before my birthday,I was feeling like "Why so much fuss for a birthday?Whats so special?".Today I realised that its not the day thats special,its the people who make it special! :)

I also realised there are so many many many people connected to me,whom I have not added on any social-networking sites...but still they remember my birthday! So cool! :)

Anyways,thanx in advance to everybody who would wish me here(You all will wish me,won't you?:P)

Cheers! Have a great weekend! :)

God and Me-Part 3

2010-01-31T15:03:00.001+05:30

Part 1 of God and Me:Part one
Part 2 of God and Me:Part two

"I hate you!" I paused,took a deep breath,and shouted again "I hate you!"

"Why do you always push me into self-doubt? Can't you make me do something miraculous so that I can stop being so harsh on myself?And what are you doing? Giving me task after task that just blast my wall of confidence! Urgh! I just hate you!"

Lying on my bed,with nothing much to do,this is what I was doing one afternoon-blaming God.

As always,whenever I request Him to come and help me,He won't move an inch.Only after my repeated chantings of "I hate you",did He finally raise an eyebrow.Now after days of repeatedly saying "I hate you" He finally made an appearance.And where there is God,you can expect drama.

"Now what have I done? I am not sitting idle like you and brooding about what others have and I don't.I am a very busy person.I had sent you so many signs that things would be fine once you look inside you,but instead you look the other way and refuse to acknowledge my signs!"

Finally,He paused for some breath.I looked at Him indifferently and said "Over?Or some drama is still left?"

He rolled his eyes and gave a sigh,meaning His drama was over.It was my turn now.

"Can you tell me why you don't answer me when I am in the middle of a crisis?Why you don't even give me a handkerchief when I am crying?Why can't I feel your hand on my shoulder when I am so diffident?Why don't you send someone when I am so lonely? I always thought that you sent someone for me when I am lonely or in need of a friend.But nowadays,you don't care! You are putting so many pressures on me at the same time...I can't handle it anymore! Do you hear me? "

God was standing with His arms folded and lips drawn in a stubborn manner.

"Say something!" I nearly screamed.

"I don't give handkerchiefs,I only give solutions.If you want a God who gives handkerchiefs,then go and find another God."He turned to go.

I didn't move an inch.

Turning back to me,He said "You wont even stop me?".I said nothing,and was just staring at Him.I don't know whether it was my stare or whether he felt something for my plight but suddenly he softened and said in His Godly voice "Okay.I am not doing any more drama.But I'll tell you something.Would you listen?"

He took my silence as my Yes,so he continued,"Look child.I give you problems so that you come out of those as a matured person.I send people who don't listen to you to test your patience,I send irritating people to test your anger,I break friendships so that you learn how to love others no matter what and appreciate the right people,I delay your success to test your determination.I send failures to you so that you know how to handle success.Yes I do it all purposely.Not to break you,but to mold you into the right person.So have patience,be calm,forgive others,have a big heart.Don't be sulky like you are now.I care for you.Thats why I send problems to you.Parents send their children to far off places to work or study,why?Only for their benefit.The separation is difficult,but its for the child's good.Isn't it?"

He smiled.And I...well...did feel like smiling,but my ego came in between.Then,God cleared his throat and said "Speaking of complaints,even I have a complaint too"

I expected him to tell me that I don't remember him much often,that I never tell him about good things,etc etc..but what he said,was this:
"Will you stop complaining repeatedly about your problems?I came down this time because I saw that my secretary was fed up with your repeated complaint letters.Just complaint once,my secretary has good memory and she would surely notify me about your complaint.In short,I am asking you to stop whining,start living!"

With that grumble,God turned around and vanished.

Suddenly,I remembered something,"Hey I have to ask you another question!!!!"
But God was gone by that time.Maybe to attend some conference on How To Handle Irritating People (like me).

Do post your comments while I post a few more complaints to God.

But hey,I am still in my thoughtful mood.About what God said.Thinking.Thinking.Thinking.Zzzzzzzz...........

Cheers! Have a Nice Week Ahead! :)

A long.....err....Story

2010-01-07T23:56:00.001+05:30

Savita put down the magazine she was reading and looked out of the window,thoughtful.Such bad times,she thought with a sigh.So many people are suffering from depression and stress.She closed her eyes and tried to feel the sounds around her.She felt at peace.She sighed.She suddenly felt sure that depression would never touch her.Never.

Next day in school,she overheard the girls sitting near her bench."...I really think I am suffering from depression.I just don't feel interested in anything.Ever since my best friend and I have fought,I just haven't been myself..."

Depressed?A student of class 11th? A mere teen?
Why not?Hadn't she read that people of all age-groups suffered from depression?Oh dear!

She returned home and her mother told her to come for lunch."No mom,I don't feel like eating.I'll just go and sleep".Her mother's protests were answered with Savita's bedroom door being closed.
This continued for a week.

"Hey Savita! Why are you not joining us in basketball? Come on yaar...this is the only free-time we get!"
Savita looked up and saw her friends playing basketball,all sweaty but happy.She gave a feeble smile.
"No its okay.You carry on".
This continued for a month or two.

Savita's best friend since childhood,Asha,called her up one day."Hey sweetie! I miss you so much! Hows life going on?"
Savita felt a hollow elation at hearing her best friend's voice."Oh I miss you so much too!".She felt like laughing and crying at the same time.
Asha was saying something."You know,I haven't found a friend like you over here.Me and my dad fight everyday ever since he got transferred to this place last year.But I guess he is helpless too.Transfers are a part of the job,but seriously,I miss those times...and your squeaky laughter for which I used to tease you so much about....".
Savita didn't hear anymore of what Asha was saying.Where has her laughter gone now?Where is her smile?Oh god! Please help!

"Torque is defined as the product of the applied force and the perpendicular distance"..Vasu sir,the physics teacher,was saying.But Savita wasn't concentrating.
Where has my laughter gone?
"All right students.I have completed three units now.The syllabus for next test is covered".
Why can't I find my confidence?
"Don't read too many books,otherwise you'll get confused.Just stick to one book and follow its concepts."
Everyone is so much better and happier than me.Why?Where am I lost?
"And please think of physics as interesting.If you fear it,and don't befriend it,then you're gone"
There was loud thud in the class,and as students jerked their heads,they saw Savita lying on the floor.Unconcious.

"Savita! What happened darling? Didn't you eat your lunch?Did you hit your head somewhere?Are you having fever?Don't panic!" It was Savita's mother,panicking in the hospital,where she was brought by her friends and some teachers.The same friends who also informed Savita's mother about her condition.

"Your daughter is suffering from very low blood pressure.".The doctor in-charge informed without preamble.
Her mother was shocked."But...but..."
"Didn't she eat well for past few days?"
"She did"
"Is she suffering from depression?"
Depression? "No".
"Are you sure?" the doctor looked curiously.
"Yes,definitely."
"Oh".The doctor tore the prescriptions page and said "For now,give this medicines to her as per the prescription.If she faints again,we'll go for a scan".
"Thank you".

Outside,Savita's friends were waiting."Aunty,how is Savita now?She has been very quiet for the past few days"
Savita's mother was surprised."Why?"
The girls looked uncertain,and confirmed their uncertainty when they said "We don't know Aunty.She doesn't play basketball,doesn't concentrate in class,sits alone,doesn't talk and joke much nowadays"
"Oh" was all her mother could say."I'll see to her.Thank you so much for your help girls".
The girls smiled and went off,leaving Savita's mother alone to think about all that happened.

"Mom,I am suffering from depression?" Savita asked,a half-statement,a half-question.Sitting in her bedroom now,on a two-day leave from school,Savita still hadn't improved much.The same,sparkle-less eyes,lifeless voice,and a few occasional tears.Savita's mother sat by her daughter,gently stroking Savita's hair.
"You are not suffering from depression.You THINK you are suffering from depression".
The raised eyebrows and the wide-eyes showed Savita didn't understand."But..."
"But what? I know you read that article I showed to you,about depression.But I just wanted to convey to you that if you think you are depressed,you'd be depressed.People are just popularizing the feeling of sadness by giving a fashionable name:Depression"

"Look,I know you were a little sad when Asha went to Banglore and you are here in Mumbai.But life hasn't ended at that! God has given you an opportunity to look around and make a bigger circle of friends,other than Asha."

"And remember,you are not lost without anybody.You are always you.Everyone has good and bad things,and so do you.That does not mean you'll think you are worse than others! People will love you if you are yourself.And not pretend like someone else.Don't think your classmates don't care about you.They do.You should also be good to them.Start thinking good thoughts.Stop thinking you're depressed!"
Savita smiled,relieved.She ate a heavy-lunch,like a famished soul.

Next day in class,she gave all the wrong answers to the questions posed by Vasu sir.But she was glad that he now joked about her wrong answers and helped her personally(And also gave her extra marks in the tests!)

She played basketball,and by the end of the game,she was sweaty,tanned,but still happy.

She called up Asha and told her how much she missed her."But life goes on yaar.Do you know?I had once told you I how I hated Nisha,the girl from other section?Well I was wrong.She isn't proud as I thought.We are now friends too! Life is beautiful now...."

As she hung up,Savita suddenly thought of the article.She smiled.Her mom was right.
People are just popularizing the feeling of sadness by giving a fashionable name:Depression"
**************************************************************************
P.S: Well the views in the above article are fully mine.Not even any side-views or rear-views.So you are welcome to point out discrepancies (specially medical ones! :P).But..hope you don't discourage :P .

P.P.S:
Hey people! I passed in my Third Semester Exams..with a GPA of 8.33! Yippeee! Now I am tension-free! :P

Happy New Year! :)

2010-01-02T09:44:00.004+05:30

Note: Sorry....I published the post before actually writing anything.:P

So everyone....Wishing you and your family a very HAPPY NEW YEAR! :)

Well,this new year is special,right? I mean the new year started with an eclipse :P.

Anyways...all we can do is learn from our mistakes,be more good,more friendly,more sweet,more aware,more sober,more patient,reduce patients in hospitals and be healthy :P,more optimistic,more loyal,and more human:)

More importantly,lets also hope that all the above mentioned 'mores' are also followed by others :P

Once again...a Happy New Year...do follow your New Year Resolutions if you have any...and if you don't,let the others who have peacefully follow theirs ! :P

Cheers!
Have a happy weekend! :)

The Randomness of Random Thoughts

2009-12-20T17:44:00.001+05:30

I tell myself ,"Today I have to,have to write a post in my blog".The watch showed 4 o'clock in the evening.As my eyelids came down to block my vision,I lazily think "Oh well,I'll write it in the night".

Night comes and goes.But not even a single idea for my blog.

Next day in class..my thoughts go for a walk something like this:
The climate summit....Yes! Thats going to be my idea for my blog! I am now smiling...a relieved smile.Now my half-abandoned blog will be cared for once again! But my smile fades as I think of WHAT to write for that! I mean no country needs to compromise...its the people who need to change their lifestyles...but who listens to great people like me?:(
And if I say that there is no need for any stupid climate summit and that people need to get away from their fear of darkness and in turn switch off lights at night,the world would be a better place...then I would be having a shoe-y crown on my head! :(

Nope...idea canceled.

How about pessimism of the Media? Ya thats a good one.I smiled smugly,yeah...I got a new victim! You know the media is so pessimistic....have any of the news channels or any newspaper highlighted the fact that the forest cover of India has increased by 0.3%?Okay okay maybe the percent is too small..but at least our efforts are reaping results! We might perhaps reverse the climate change conditions!...Err..I mean reduce.

Maybe thats being too hopeful...compared to the media! :P

As I munched my half-cooked roti of my hostel mess....I get this Newtonian idea of writing about the patheticity of hostel food everywhere.Oh that would draw out sympathy from all the readers! Ask anyone who lives in the hostel...they'll surely tell the sad story of hostel food.Don't the mess-incharges have any heart?Don't they realise how sad the poor kids are already that they add salt to the wounds by providing pathetic food?
But I have already written a wee-bit too much about my hostel...and as I said earlier,I don't repeat myself :P

As I climb the steps of my hostel(lift isn't working)..I think further...Hmm then? How about some sad poem?Yeah....my poems always invite praises...and everyone is set to the 'thinking-mode' after reading them(Oh I am so modest :P).As I turned the pages of my poem notebook(collection of my OWN poems..mind it!),I select one poem and just as I am about to type out a relatively fierce poem...I realised that all my poems till now have been pretty much...err...fierce types only.One more..and my readers would say no more! :(

As I arrange my books...a great Einsteinian idea struck me (Newton was born before Einstein :P).I'll write all the thoughts that run through my head and post it! Oh I am so intelligent!

So forgetting my books...I sat down and started typing..
"I tell myself ,"Today I have to,have to write a post in my blog".The watch showed 4 o'clock in the evening.As my eyelids came down to block my vision,I lazily think "Oh well,I'll write it in the night"."

Have a great week ahead....
Cheers! :)

When the wind blows

2009-11-29T19:41:00.002+05:30

She stood tall,unafraid,
Unmoving lips speaking the words not said,
She looked almost peaceful,calm,
But inside her there was a raging storm...

She nursed her bruises,
She bore those bad curses,
But never again,she promised to herself with determination,
Never again,would this happen to anyone,

She was a mother,she still is,
But her murdered daughter she would always miss,
Murdered,at the hands of her husband's family,
She,at first,didn't believe that it was the reality...

Why?Why was her innocent daughter killed?
Didn't her little hands convey that she wanted to live?
Cold-bloodily strangled,her daughter was,
And all she lived was a few hours....

Now,she would fight,take her revenge,
Her daughter's murder,she would avenge,
She was killed because she was a daughter,
Now,she would fight because they killed her daughter...

Her elder daughter entered,along with the lawyer,
Who promised to help her avenge her daughter's murder,
The lawyer,a lady herself,helped her unending,
She would not let the murderers get away so easily....

Sometimes,we are carried away by the pleasant weather,
And we think it would always remain this way,
But when the winds blow too fast and strong,
Not much really lasts long...

Like this,perhaps many mistake the shy daughter-in-law,
To be silent and submissive,as she always was,
But when she takes a stand,nothing can shake her will,
She still can't understand fully,why her daughter was killed?
******************************************************************
Yes,female foeticide still happens.If not in the womb,then the innocent girl is killed within few hours of her birth.Not only it happens in rural areas,but its as much a reality in the urban areas too.Why?Why would you kill an innocent child just because its a girl?What can't a girl do when she grows up?

P.S:
The above poem is inspired by a story which I read in some supplementary of a newspaper.Though,perhaps,its not a full justice to the emotions of that woman on whom the poem is based...still,its just a try to recreate her emotions.:)

P.P.S:
Sorry for the lengthy poem,and the irregular pattern of the lines :P

Cheers!
Have a happy week ahead.
:)

Just a thought

2009-11-25T20:55:00.001+05:30

For the past one week,the discussions in the Media are hovering around the 1st anniversary of the Mumbai Terror Attacks.Like a flashback of what happened in Mumbai...when we stuck to our television screens.Most news channels showed a ticker on the side which showed number of casualties like some score of a cricket match! How much have we grown from that time till now?

Of course,we have now realised how much vulnerable our very own police force is at the hands of the government...people like Hemant Karkare died at the hands of terrorists,fighting,just because his bullet proof jacket was "faulty".

We now realise how media should behave in times of trouble....it was noticed that the terrorists were aware of the police force's actions just by watching TV.

We now realise that no place is safe from terror attacks....From railway stations,to grand and famous hotels....terror discriminates no one.

We now realise the seriousness of growing terrorism,growing insecurity,growing inability of the Administration to capture the culprits and pluck out the root cause responsible for such unprecedented attacks.
We also realise that as common people,the only thing we can do (at the least) is raise voices,keep pestering the non-committal government,and to have enough presence of mind if and when we are trapped in a terror-attack situation.

And finally,we also realise that just panel discussions with ministers,lighting candles,rewinding the past events,and complaining to the media about the inability of the Government,insufficient tools for security forces etc etc cannot do much harm to the Rhino-skinned terrorists.

Like always,we,the Indians, have moved on,whenever something big happened.Mumbai was back to business in 3 days after the attacks.Perhaps,in a way,the terrorist-attacks have failed.Failed to completely paralyse one city,or state,or country.But they have indeed been successful in creating a fear.A fear,amongst all,victims or not,of the anything-can-happen-any-moment thinking.
But now, we have taken a stance against terrorism.We won't go back on that.Its time to look forward.

And we,the Indians,will.
******************************************************************
Hello everyone! I am back! Exams went on okay types.Just a wee bit shaky here and there.
Am back home now...enjoying the winter! (with an ice-cream!)

Have a nice week ahead.....:)
Take care!

Exam time! :P

2009-11-03T13:26:00.000+05:30

Yep...its that time of the year (for us) again in which we are reminded that we need to study in college too...apart from having fun..
Yes..the Exam Time.
Unfortunately,when I opened my Maths book yesterday...I realised that whatever formulae I thought I knew were those of the second semester...and right now I am going to give the exams for third semester.

Ha ha ha...so funny...I don't remember attending the classes of ElectroMagnetic Theory (EMT) or Measurements and Instrumentation(MI)...what was I doing then? Hmm...Oh ya! I was writing the record for the labs!Duh!

Well anyway...I wanted to convey my apologies to everyone for not properly commenting on their new posts...but I can't help it.

Anyways..I am logging off now...will return back to my intellectual(?) blabbering after the exams (or even in between the exams :P)

Cheers!
Have a great fortnight ahead! :)

P.S: My Practical Exams were not really that great...Data Structures was bad...forgot the whole program and had to ask ma'am for a change of question :P
Electronic Devices and Circuits wasn't too good...the ma'am helped me to take the readings for UJT...and was cursing under her breath "I don't understand why students like you come to college" :P

Measurements and Instrumentation(MI) lab was good....but Viva was bad....I didn't even explain the difference between Energy and Power :P

Close your eyes....you won't see the knife

2009-10-25T23:55:00.002+05:30

Run,don't stop,
Don't look at the blood dripping drop-by-drop,
Ah,you've fallen down,
But there's no help around....

Get up,don't turn around,
Don't try to look for the door you never found,
Run,faster....faster,
Your life may then last a little longer....

Oh! You're gone,you're gone!
You were a fool to run behind money,and in death,you'll be alone,
Anyway,what you lived was not worth calling a life,
Close your eyes now,you won't see the knife.....

Something pierced my skin,I could feel my nerves crawling,
There was no sound in my silent scream,
By and by,my mind cleared,like black clouds giving way to the sun,
And I heard someone say "It seems he collapsed due to nervous breakdown"

I heard someone gasp,probably my wife,
With whom I shared only strifes,
Probably the doctor told I would be fine soon enough,
As I heard the gasp disappear into a sigh of relief...

As days progressed,so did my health,
Ever since that dream,I cared for neither my job nor my wealth,
Now I cared for my friends and family,
As I realised,they would be the ones who would help me in all difficulties....

The day I was finally discharged,I was a happy person,
Smiling at anyone for no particular reason,
I had forgotten how close the nightmare had caused me my life,
Till I saw a small note on my dashboard,which said "Close your eyes,you won't see the knife"....

******************************************************************
"What was that?" is perhaps your first reaction to the above poem.Well,this is what happens when we run aimlessly behind money,pay package,promotions etc etc and forget how to live life.Yes,its a cliché.You've heard it thousands of times...heard about the mad cattle-like competitive world that kills the dreamer and hails the sharp-minds.But where does this life lead to?If one can't find time for the family,friends,or oneself,then its a waste of life!

What do you think?Is it right to work and work...and be like a zombie? Or just take a break?Come on! We should give time to ourselves too!Like doing something you would love to do that you haven't done for long (For eg; I have written a poem! :P .....{Oh Anu! You are so modest :D})

Keep smiling everyone....and keep praying for my practical exams too(Tuesday and Wednesday)! :P
Cheers
Have a Happy Week Ahead! :)

Whats new? :)

2009-10-24T22:32:00.004+05:30

Earlier,whenever anyone asked me "Hey whats up?Whats new in your life?",I would reply..."Each Day Is New"

Well before you think "Oh what a nice reply" or "Oh what a mokkai(a poor joke)"...let me tell you that I stole this statement from some story of some book of some library of some area....

Okay getting back now,is really each day new?Hmm...daily I see the same room,the same Mess,the same food(well the Menu for each day is different...but it all tastes the same! :P),the same college building,the same classroom,the same classmates,the same lecturers and the same lessons.So whats new?

Each person who interacts with me,would have faced something in his or her day that would not be in my "Same-Same" list....but the thing which is in the "Same-Same" list of theirs...is new for me!
Similarly the thing in my "Same-Same" list of mine is new for them! Get it?

No? Okay.For example,waking up roomies (which is a big task...and I am NOT the one who does that!) and getting ready together and exchanging clips and hairpins and plates and cups is not new for us...but for many of my classmates,its new.Again,boarding the college bus is nothing new for my classmates,but its new for us!Get it?

So how does our day get a new touch?When we interact with others,learn,empathize,console about their problems...we get the feeling of being fresh and alive.Nothing in our life is bland.Its all the same..still...its different! Like new faces in the bus you travel,new shops that have opened in your area,a different colour of the sky,a different smell of the roads which are wet coz of rain,a ringing laughter you hear when you are all tired...notice them all,cherish them,you would be all "new" once more! :)

When we face each day with a positive attitude thinking "My day would be nice today"...half of our boredom would be gone.After all,we do need some strength to face each 365 days after regular intervals..hence our weapon is..positive attitude! :)
Pretty confusing? Well I started off to say something specific..it turned out as something else!

Anyways.....Keep smiling!:)

And remember...Each Day Is New!

****************************************************************
Hey have I ever told you about my roomies?No?Okay I'll tell about them..by referring to their initials.(As they requested).
Note:The second alphabet in the initials is the alphabet by which their first name starts.

Theres "D.R".She is like the mother figure.We all take our problems to her and she has the simplest solutions.She is the moderator of our bunch of lazy geese.(or is it goose??).She wakes us up early on sunday mornings so that we don't miss our breakfast...yeah she drives us mad...for our own good!

Then comes "B.I".She is the real baby of our room.We all pamper her to the core.But she is the one who scores the highest amongst all of us! Total Padhaku (or Padips..in Tamil Lingo...hey they are similar,aren't they?!)

Then comes our new MBA didi..."P.I".Though she is supposed to be the oldest one...we nowadays doubt whether she is our senior or our junior!Armed with all the silly mistakes she does...like forgetting her plate,forgetting to put battery in her cell phone,she easily is the most kiddish MBA student! :P

And me?Well I am the joker of the gang....the most untimely jokes are cracked by me at the wrong place.I create problems for myself...for which I eventually get solutions from all of the above.When I set out to help my roomies when they don't ask,something goes wrong and my help becomes the trouble itself.HeeHee.

Okay then.Thats all for now....

Cheers!
Have a great Weekend! :)

Back Home!!!!!!!

2009-10-17T12:04:00.000+05:30

Yes...thats right.I am back home...for 5 days! For diwali! Yippeee.....!

Back home to celebrate the most awaited festival of every year.With sweets,new dresses,more sweets,crackers,candles,diyas etc etc etc all over...its like the whole city bedecked like a newly-wed bride(Okay I know that sounds filmy!)

From Chennai to Delhi to where I am in Haryana...Panipat.Yeah...that was one heck of a journey.I mean in the positive sense.One special mention about Delhi.Actually,I love Delhi.No matter what people say about Delhi,like people are rude,theres no security there,theres nothing worth living in there...but still I love Delhi.No,I have never actually lived in there.But used to visit it many many many times.Uncountable number of times.The sights and sounds...all crude and unsophisticated...just thrills me.Seriously.If you visit Delhi and Mumbai or Chennai in one trip,you would know what I mean.
I guess Delhi-6's title track says it all..."Yeh sheher nahin,mehfil hai"....

Okay...actually at other times,I would've been unhappy that I am visiting home for such a short time...but this time...I am saying to this place of mine "I'll always return"...:P

Anyways....Enough of my silly blabbering.
I wanted to convey to every one of you a very very very happy and prosperous Diwali.Yeah,do think about global warming for a considerable time...but don't let that steel away the spirit of Diwali.At least,eating sweets doesn't increase global warming...right?:)

Happy Diwali to all of you! :)

Cheers!
Keep smiling!

Is it real?

2009-10-15T15:20:00.000+05:30

Do people really stab their own relatives with whom they must've laughed and cracked jokes with? Do people really pour kerosene on someone just because of some money? Do people really sleep well after having snatched the sleep of many by their activities?How can people kill anyone for no rhyme or reason?

These questions made me numb one day.I know,I seem to be living in a world of dreams,but no...the rising news about that person killing this person,that person cheated this lot of people...has really made me wonder,what is our worth in this world if anyone just barges into our house and just blows it up?

What is it that might make people be more positive,more patient,more calmer,more understanding?

But there are good things too..as I realised today.I had gone to a shop to do Spiral Binding of my record sheets.The man there told me to come later.I said immediately "Anna,I have to go to my native place today."(The truth is I am going home tomorrow,and I was in a hurry as I was having a terrible headache...hence the lie).
He immediately did the work for me,although he already had other waiting customers.I regretted it deeply.I lied to him.I maybe cost him a couple of customers.I came back to my hostel with a heavy heart.

But something about the whole episode made me sit up and think.Was it real that the man had actually been touched as I said I needed to go home?Is it real that people's heart get touched hearing someone's plight?Do people get disturbed too,in these times,about other people's welfare and stay awake all night? Is it real that when you do good to others,they remember it and remember you too? Is it real that when you do good to others,then you are also gifted with someone else's good deed to you?Do such people exist who are not from your family,and we term them as friends,and yet they sacrifice for us many things which we might have not?

My mind is numb again.What is real?Does it really happen that good things always happen to good people,even in such times?

I would be glad if you would share your experiences..good or bad...that perhaps had left your mind numb..numb with pain..or numb with happiness!

Cheers!
Have a happy week ahead! :)

Am I a loser,then?

2009-10-01T23:14:00.004+05:30

"I hate that girl,I seriously do!" grumbled L about S.I listened,believing every word."S has made my life miserable,she just doesn't let me study properly.All the time she is chatting with boys and joking with them!Urgh! I hate her so much! She thinks I can't go anywhere without her company! Huh!".
Just then S entered the room,and L turned around and said "Hey Hi! Your car will come today for going to tutions,right?What time shall I be ready?"
I could do nothing but stare.

**********************************************************
"All those who have scored below 60 shall have to attend the extra classes".I had scored 58.My friend had scored 54.I knew that there was no scope for getting any 2 more marks from this stingy lecturer,hence I just resigned myself to the fact that okay,I'll attend the extra class.It never occurred to me to go and ask for a few more marks.Just then,my friend zoomed past by me and went to the lecturer.After a few moments,she came back and I noticed that in her answer sheet was written "54+6=60".
Yes,she escaped extra classes.How?"Oh well,I just went and asked her and told her that I'll do well next time and that I can't attend extra classes as I am a day-scholar and that my home is far and parents would be worried and all.And the lecturer put the 6 marks somehow".
I wondered...whether my life in hostel was so boring that I would sacrifice washing clothes or dusting my shelf or going out to buy essential commodities just for extra classes? Hmm

********************************************************
"No,you won't be dancing in the fresher's day this time" the multi-coloured-hair 3rd year student told us.Me and another friend of mine just turned around and walked away.We didn't try convincing that senior to "kindly" let us dance as we love dancing and we really really want to dance.
Enter another student,who had the right contacts and the right luck and the right voice for being given the responsibility for singing the National Anthem and some intro song.No,I am not jealous,am I?

**********************************************************
"Get out of the lab,you need not do the experiment if you can't even wear lab-shoes! Go and meet the HOD then only you can enter my lab!",shouted the lecturer during lab-hour.I quietly walked off.
"Get out of the lab,you also need not do the experiment",shouted the lecturer again at victim#2.The guy coolly replied "Sir,I'll wear the lab-shoes next time".The lecturer grumbled something and I saw that victim#2 went on to do the experiment,as I stood watching him from the glass-window outside the lab.

***********************************************************
Some people are born clever I guess.Somehow or the other they know how things work,are alert and awake most of the times,and know which people to use and which people to abuse.I guess I lag in this area.Not me alone,I have seen many like me too,and I feel so happy seeing them making mistakes the way I do.
I had always thought that most of the non-clever people went on to become geniuses.Not everyone had common-sense,and only some people,like me,have uncommon sense.(Taare Zameen Par Effect!):P

People say its my ego,self-esteem or some other heavy and nice sounding words.I guess its just my indifference.An indifference which I can't be indifferent about.It would be with me all my life.:)

So,am I a loser then? A loser because I don't have anything to do with people with whom I don't share a compatibility?Because I would rather accept life as it comes rather than go and ask for concessions?Because I don't ever think about my own self but worried unnecessarily about other people?Because I sympathise with others and criticise myself?

Am I a loser?

Ladies and The Uniform

2009-09-27T22:07:00.002+05:30

The debate on NDTV "We the People" today was about the permanent work for women in the Indian Army...more correctly,in the Infantry section of the Army.A cliched debate which goes on and on with no conclusion.

The first question that comes to my mind is that WHY do we need such a debate anyway? The Army is short of about 14,000 cadets or officers or whatever and on top of that,we are debating about the equal rights of women? I mean,where ARE the women that such questions about posting the ladies on the front pop up?

Okay,lets go to the general perception about the Army.Its a hard life,yes,and the moment someone in our homes mentions joining the Army then its like the end of the world.Yes,I admit its easier to be typing out all these than actually seeing a brother or husband or son(or a sister or wife or daughter)returning only after several tiring months(or rather not returning at all,in some cases...I don't know whether such cases are "proud" ones or unfortunate ones)...but lets hear it out..what is it that makes people hesitate to join the army? I asked the question first to myself..why am I not joining then?Unfortunately,I got a meek answer saying I have always wanted to be an engineer and run Power Plants or Refineries or whatever.

The same question I asked a friend of mine,and his answer was very much peculiar.He said his friend applied for the Army but he never got the call,despite being physically fit.And his point was that in a time of job-shortage such as this,anybody would jump for any proffession,including the Defense.If a common person has this notion,then imagine how many people must be having such a notion that the "Defense force is not recruiting properly".

Well, people should understand that the Army,Navy or Air Force canNOT employ ANYONE who gives his/her applications.You cannot expect a person suffering from Asthma or breathing problems to be going to a hazardous place where its too cold or too dusty and still be up and fighting!(No offense intended,please)

Coming back to the topic now.Why can't ladies be given a post on the front? Why is it that people are so much apprehensive when it comes to women fighting on the front?Why are women not given the opportunity beyond the technical posts? Why are there different standards for men and women in the army? I am sure there are men reading this post who are very much in opposition to the different standards for men and women in the daily life.But thats not the point here.We are talking about National Security.No different standards for that please! As some lady in the program rightly mentioned,"Why are we supposed to be running 7 kms in 40 minutes when men are supposed to run the same distance in 25 minutes?Tell us to do the same..if we fail then throw us out!".

So you see,such debates go on and on.There are other perspectives too.Like the biological differences,ability to withstand difficult circumstances..etc etc.But all I can say,for now,is...at least give a chance!

Even I loved someone....

2009-09-21T21:21:00.003+05:30

Note:
I had forgotten about this poem of mine....until I read Ekam's new post!Okay...Here we go...

Fresh flowers bloom each day,
Beautifying my way,
The sunrise brings a new dawn,
But something inside me has gone...

Something inside me has gone,
Outside,everything is fine,but inside something is terribly wrong,
There is a strange fear,a strange insecurity,
The times seem to go on and on for eternity...

The times seem to go on and on for eternity,
There always persists a feeling of self-pity,
My story is known to no one,
Even I loved someone....

Even I loved someone,
And it was not just for some silly fun,
I loved him with all my heart and soul,
He made my life meaningful....

He made my life meaningful,
All those times when we were together were so wonderful,
I still love him,and would do so till the end,
Even though he lies somewhere,dead....

Even though he lies somewhere,dead,
I am glad he died a valiant death,
I visit him each day with flowers for his lonely grave,
But I feel proud,yes,he had been brave...

I feel proud,yes,he had been brave,
Everyone tells me to forget him and welcome each new day,
And although the sunrise brings a new dawn,
But something inside me has forever gone...

Silent !....Listen.....

2009-09-18T19:44:00.003+05:30

"...And I told her not to talk to me hereafter"

"Its okay,it happens.Good that you are rid of her.Hey listen..."

"No.I can't ever forgive her"

"Listen..."

"What?"

"Sorry but I had been trying to tell you for the past half an hour,I met with an accident,and right now in the hospital"

Sometimes,rather many times,it happens.
We go on listening to people whom we consider close,but when its their turn to listen,they just disappear into thin air.It hurts.Terribly.

We listen endlessly,forgetting all other works,all other people,when our friends are in distress.But just when we thought that we are close friends,and we can share too,we get in answer "See you later".

The tears appearing at that instant are that of self-reproach,self-pity,and intense loneliness.
And those tears never really flow.They remain in the eyes,not conveying the sadness,and those ears still go on listening,hoping that one day they might hear the other person realise pain behind the answer "I am fine" and ask back "Are you telling the truth?".Perhaps.One day.

Cheers.:)
Happy Weekend! :)

In GOD we TRUST,grumble we MUST! (Part II)

2009-09-16T22:06:00.004+05:30

Note: For the part one...Click Here.

There you are.Yes you.How long have you been sitting there doing nothing? You just keep silent on so many things,sometimes I need to shake you for waking you up.

From the poster,God replied "Now what?"

"Why you made my health miserable all of a sudden? Can't you bear to see me looking healthy?"

Wide-eyed,He replied "Huh? Did I ask you to eat those oily pooris in your hostel mess? Did I ask you to behave like a saint-on-fast and stop drinking water? Did I ask you to find a particular place where there was no fan and particularly go sit there? Did I ask you to think so many thoughts at the same time when your head isn't capable of thinking even 1? Did I..."

I was exasperated."NO! Perhaps you didn't. But you could've at least stopped me from doing the above mentioned things!"

"Grr....I can't all the time be running behind you.You should take care of yourself.I can't come over to you each time you get a little scratch in your delicate fingers!"

"You are supposed to be God!"

"All right,I resign from my post of being God"

"Bravo! First you don't do your responsibilties properly and then you say you resign? Who will take care of all the things on Earth if you resign?"

"You always keep pestering me.First the maths paper,now this?"

"Then who else shall I blame all the surprises? You have an evil-twin or something?"

"Ha ha ha..very funny.Look,did you even once call me when your paper got selected for the SSN symposium?Did you ever tell me that you cleared your 1st year successfully?Did you ever describe to me how much interesting your bus ride was?"

"Err...nope"

"Hmm...now where do you stand?"

"But you know all that already!!!"

"Yes,from reliable sources.Imagine in a team,you are the leader.You know all that is happening in your team.But still,you want the team members to personally come and tell you their achievements,right?"

"Yeah."

"Same is with me too my child"

"Hmm okay...from now on..I'll tell you about the good things too"

God smiled "Thats like a good child!"

"But seriously,that day,the EDC lecturer was grumbling and glaring at me.I don't understand why she keeps glaring at me.Humph! Even if I say a right answer,she glares back! She has her favourite students,and...Hey where did you go?"

I realised that from the poster,to which I was talking to,God's image had vanished.

My Awards....

2009-09-15T09:00:00.001+05:30

Thank you Shruti Akka...

Parents....

2009-09-13T11:55:00.002+05:30

Well,this post is for the parents(in general).No,this isn't the face-off between children and parents,its the facing of the fact that how would we (the children) be as parents.

Confused? Well many times I have thought,are parents all the while thinking about the welfare of the children only?How do they naturally,without any trying,can think about children all the time? While even buying something from the market,they'll think "Oh my daughter likes this vegetable,I'll buy it for her",when perhaps they themselves had not bought their favorite vegetable.(Well,their favorite veggies are the ones we often don't like!)

Will I also be able to think like this when I become a parent? I asked my mother this question and she burst out laughing saying "Why are you worried from now itself?".Hmm...good question.

Often,my conversation goes like this:
"...And this is what happened in class today,Ma".
"Hmm...hey do you know,your grandma called and she said..."
"Ma,I need to go for dinner now,will talk to you later"...(disconnected)

All the time I am whining about my hostel,college,friends roomies etc etc to my mother,and she listens.But how many times do I listen when she wants to tell about the gossips of neighbourhood,the festivals at home,what relatives said,etc etc? I guess you can say its my problem,but think again,how many times have you actually heard out your parents speaking?

Does my home really look pretty much lonely without me and my brother?(My brother works in another city).
My mother once told me,"See,money perhaps is important,but what is the use of it if we are far from our children?".
Can I ever say that to my children when I become a mother?(Coz I am an egoistic person and would rather die than say to anyone "I can't live without you" or something like that).

Well,everyone tells me that I am my father's pet,I resemble him and etc etc etc.I guess I inherited my humour from him.(Don't be surprised,I can indeed make anyone laugh! :D).By the way,I can see that my father misses me and my brother very much,and perhaps thats why,even after repeatedly asking me,I haven't given him the blog URL yet(with posts like these,I am sure he'll react in a way like "Why have you written all this???")

They say (they?) its all a matter of time,that you would be mature enough by then to stop thinking about yourself and start living for your children.But if I am so selfish now,how will I change at that time?

Okay I guess this post a bit senti-menti one,or may perhaps sound like a Baghban or K3G movie inspired one.But seriously,sometimes(mostly) my head asks rhetorical questions(the questions whose answers are already known) instead of asking why the E-MOSFET operates only in enhancement mode.(?)

Okays I'll buzz off now...my mother is calling(she'll be bursting with anger as to why I took so long to pick up the phone! :P)

Have a cool sunday! :)
Cheers!

Brand Tag!...And my experience with a junior...2 in 1

2009-09-12T14:26:00.007+05:30

Hey folks! I have been Tagged by Shruti Akka..well heres my tag ...

"Brand Tag - Take any day in your life and chart out the brands you have used"

Cool enough?Hmm....

In a normal day....

1.My day starts by the alarm set in my cellphone...Nokia XpressMusic 5220(Red colour).

2.Next comes my College bag....don't know which brand it actually belongs to!:P

3.Next is my wrist-watch....a water-proof one with brown strap and golden dial.(Sonata ki peshkash :P).

4.Hmm....next is...Notebooks perhaps? Hey they are mostly of the "Classmate" brand anyway :P

5.Then comes the Spectacles....again..not any particular brand.But its a frameless one and it has undergone rigorous situations and circumstances (like being squashed under the desk rod,etc etc) and is still going strong.(Touchwood!)

6.After that comes the hero..My laptop.Well not mine actually,its my father's.:P.Its a HP Laptop of I-don't-know series.:P

7.Well,after that comes my evening beverage...a bottle of Badam Milk whose brand is yet unknown to me...but after a long and hungry day in college...it certainly destroys my hunger! Heehee!

Well thats all...

7 brands for a colourful day:)

********************************************************************************

I saw the juniors! I saw the juniors!:)

They were the bunch of nervous students...trying to show geththu (Bindaas) attitude in front of their peers.

I had only one interaction with a junior.Not really an interaction actually!

I was climbing the steps upto the fourth floor for my test(Yes last week,we were having cycle tests.Its not over yet by the way.1 more to go).

Suddenly a girl said "Akka"(Didi)

I didn't respond.Because in my home(and amongst all cousins) I am the youngest one.So no one actually ever called me akka or didi .... except at school of course!(that too only after I reached class 12th)

I was startled and I looked up .. only to find that it was a nervous junior who was too scared to ask anything.

Changing my tone to authoritative,I said "Yes?"

She said "Where is the ECE block akka?"

"Oh ECE block is the other building,not this one"

"Thank you akka!"

And she scampered away.

Thats all.

Okay okay I know how you all are feeling.A great description as if I had chatted with a junior for full 3 hours..but it actually turns out like this?

Hmm..but seriously,I felt grand.Really.Honestly.

But still,as far as I have heard,these juniors are not respecting the Seniors...grr! We are 2 and a half semester old ! Even asking them names have lead them to complain to the wardens! Such a ninny!

Well I'll buzz off now...will be back with more such experiences!:)

Have a cheerful weekend!

Keep smiling!

They have come! :)

2009-09-09T17:35:00.006+05:30

Yes! The juniors have arrived !!! Yippeee!
Well,what am I excited about? Oh well nothing.Just got a bit senti-menti seeing the tiny juniors in the Auditorium for the Inauguration Function.We were like them too a year back! Heehee!!

Gosh! They'll now come to us and ask
"Akka(Didi),which book should I refer?"
"How do they do the correction of our test papers?"
"Whats a symposium?"
"Do we really have to attend Placement and Training classes?"
"Are the University exams really tough?"
"When will we get holidays?"
"When is fresher's day?"
"When are the culturals?"

Well,we won't rag them of course.(We won't?).Just a hi-hello,where-are-you-from questioning...Oh god no! We won't ask them to sing!Nooooo :D

My so-called "ragging" session in the hostel went something like this:
In our adjacent room we have EEE senior students..so one of 'em called me to their room and asked my name...when I said I came from Haryana..she said spell it....then asked me to spell "Haryana " in reverse order:D...this time I made a mistake and she asked me to sing a song.
I said I don't know tamil songs...then I said "Hey I know a bhajan"

So I sang a tamil bhajan(not exactly a bhajan!)...then she asked me if I knew "Kabhi Kabhi" from "Jaane Tu.."...I said ya Iknow ...(after that she got terrified of my singing and told me to stop).

And the fun part is...she(the akka who "ragged" me) wearing the same locket as i was...so she got a bit senti and she didnt say anything harsh or sarcastic..and she was telling her room-mate(in a mocking manner)"I dont know why,I like this girl"[which meant more ragging sessions].

Of course,after that we became friends (same-department syndrome :D)

So...I am off to get introduced to my juniors if possible.Not rag them,mind it!

And I would like to thank Shruti akka (Hits and Misses) for giving me two blog awards!THANK YOU AKKA!!! :)

And....

Many many many thank you!:) I'll do the passing on in sometime! :P

Have a cheery week ahead! :)

No forgivance

2009-08-31T22:40:00.002+05:30

I raised my head to the sound of the doorbell ringing,
When the door opened,the cops were standing,
I knew why they had come at this time,
After all,it was me who had committed the crime.

The cops filed in slowly,
Looking around cautiously,
I kept my gaze low,
My guilt I didn't want to show.

They seemed to see me,but didn't react,
They went to the dreaded place where took place the criminal act,
Not a word was spoken,only nods and gazes,
The tension and pity showed on their faces...

It wouldn't have happened,this heinous murder,
If I hadn't been betrayed by my lover,
Or if I hadn't lost my job,
And if I hadn't lost all hopes..

It wouldn't have happened,if I had given love another chance,
Had believed in myself and taken a stance,
If only I would've been more productive,
The reason for the crime wouldn't have been that provocative..

The cops did their investigations,and I heard what they said,
"So young,this victim!" and for the peace of the deceased,they silently prayed,
But peace has since then left me,and my wrists are slit wide,
I wish I hadn't committed suicide....

What to do?

2009-08-28T22:16:00.003+05:30

..."And in this experiment,you are going to calculate the three phase power and power factor"
Err...whats that? Oh well,we aren't supposed to ask such a question.We are 2nd year students and we are supposed to have learned all the three-phase thing in our previous semester.Right.So what do we do now?
Somehow the experiment finished....but my head is still spinning.

What are we doing? I never ever wanted to be just-another-engineer types person.I want to be do a job related to my field of study! As an example,imagine seeing Mechanical Engineers sitting in front of computers! Not only that's due to recession,but that is also the cause of recession in happiness!(I hope you understand this line)

As mentioned earlier in some long-lost post of mine that my aim to be an engineer is because I love to make things work.Most of the equipments in my home are mostly repaired by me only(By the old Indian way of trial and error).So I guess engineering was the thing for me.Seriously,I am so proud and awestruck when I see a shade of pink in a factory/plant full of gray steel/iron(shade of pink is the ladies' colour ! :) )

But if I don't even know the basics then what sort of an engineer would I be?

An engineer is related to creating new things.But the tragedy of my life is that after getting to know about global warming and all such things,I really think creating new things is a waste.Now,what would I do if my identity (identity in the future,I mean) clashes with my belief?

And if all this is not enough,my head is going through some emotional face-offs that are as torturous as that of a little butterfly that struggles to comes out of its cocoon.(is the spelling right?)

What to do? What comes first? A peaceful mind or a clear mind?(Clear in the sense that I am clear in my concepts!)
Do emotions take a backseat when it comes to career? How do I console myself when I see that the "just-an-electrician" are much more aware about all the basics than the rest of us students put together? Why is it that we don't take our course/field of study seriously even though our whole future identity depends on it?

..."In the next experiment you are supposed to study the characteristics of a transistor in CB configuration"...
Oh God!

Love yourself! :)

2009-08-23T12:58:00.001+05:30

Each morning,I wake up thinking about you,
Wondering what wonderful thing you would do,
And make this day bright and colorful,
Oh! With you,life is beautiful!

I hate to hear you groan or sigh,
I hate to see you cry,
I love you more when I see you being brave,
I love you more when,at times, you suddenly stop being naive

You have got your own space,you have got your style,
I love it when you want others to be happy all the while,
You have many abilities and some not,
But its more than sufficient whatever abilities you've got.

I complain,I grumble,
I shout,I stumble,
But I am glad I have you to show me my way,
I am so happy to see your face in the mirror everyday...:)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Kindly don't think I have got a Multiple Personality Disorder or something like that.Usually,or rather mostly,good things happen when you start believing and loving yourself.

Is that vanity?No! Vanity is just the feeling of fake superiority of oneself over others.But loving oneself is living life without caring much about what others say about you!

So,Be Yourself! :)

Hey Aishwarya! Is this poem length okay?? :D

Cheers!
Happy Week Ahead! :)

Tears of RAGE

2009-08-16T11:35:00.002+05:30

When I was small,I was known amongst many for my bad temper.I would beat up my classmates,I would throw things around,scream like a girl gone mad,break things,stop eating,slam doors and so on.

Of course,my parents used to have a tough time controlling me...because when I was in the "angry-mode",there was no stopping me.People used to try to quieten me saying "You are a girl,you should be tolerant and demure,not fierce and angry!Such tempers are bad for you",and that used to make me more angry.

I was of the notion that when one is angry,he or she should just vent it out.And thats what I did.
Eventually,I cooled down,though not too much.Nowadays when I am very very very angry,I just keep silent or cry.People think me I am weak and all,but theres no other way to control the destruction that would follow my temper.

But at times,I feel-without any reason-uncontrollable,each cell of my body screams to tear something apart,my hands are anxious to throw something,and my voice wants to come out of the lungs in ultrasonic waves and just scream.

And all this happening in the middle of a boring lecture in my college!

I can't cry,I can't scream,I can't bang my desk,I can't throw my notebook,I can't scream and run away from my class...although all these seem very much the better options!
Eventually,I feel tired,worn out,like I have been given an injection for my adrenalin to lessen.But I have to keep my head up through another class too...oh God!

And hence come out my poetry that you all have (not all) have read below this post.

After the classes,I just go to my room,and pretending to be asleep,I cry.I cry and try to sooth my bursting head,try to find what exactly caused this strange anger which starts as abruptly as it ends.And I get no answer.
When in earlier days,I used to read the term "Tears Of Rage",I never understood how any person can cry being angry! But,it happens.

P.S:
The reason for my anger is not the lecturers (Although I would like to think so) nor my college.:P
And one more thing...I was born on the day of Shiv Ratri :P (HeeHee)

Where Do I Belong?

2009-08-15T00:42:00.004+05:30

The sun rises high, and the new day dawns.
This day is the 62nd Independence Day of the great nation called India.And I am proud of it.
But somehow,the pure joy and thrill that I used to experience during Republic Days and Independence Day isn't here this time.Why? Have I ceased to be Indian? No,I still love my country loads,and would die unshuddering for it if the need came.Then why this sudden indifference?

Nowadays,nothing touches me.Friendship Days,Valentine Days,New Year's Day,even my Birthday,or any festivals.They are,sadly,just numbers,and I look at them with grim eyes and just think of them as holidays.Nothing more.Does that mean I am not patriotic or human enough?

Well I don't know.But what I do know that Indians are pretty bad at knowing the geography/history/civics of their own country.
"Is Telugu spoken in Tamil Nadu?"
"Is Haryana in India?"
"Is the North-East really habitable?"
"Do the people in the North really eat only Burgers and Pizzas?"
"Do the people in the South always eat Idli and Dosa?"

Many people...or rather most people have come to terms with these questions and have disregarded them as the other's ignorance.But...yours truly does get hurt!

My life history goes like this: First 10 years of my life spent in Mathura (U.P),next 6 years in Guwahati (Assam),and 2 years in Panipat (Haryana),and 1 year (3 more to go!)in Chennai(Tamilnadu).
I would like to mention here that although many would be cynical that I have so openly told about my so-called-life-history,but seriously,no one can trace me to my place with those vague knowledge I have provided :P

I am originally from Tamil Nadu.I am proud of it.You can see me boiling with rage when someone says anything wrong about my place.I fight endlessly when someone says that Telugu is the language spoken in Tamil Nadu.I always brag about the great personalities of the state and tell tall stories about them as if I have literally lived in their neighbourhood.I always tell them about the difference in beliefs of the Southies and Northies.That should make me a good Tamilian,I guess.

But its not so.I hate it even more when people ask me "Oh God! How have you lived in the North-East this long? Isn't it dangerous?" And I feel like saying "Sure its dangerous.Its dangerous because nice people live there and you may fall in love with them.Nice scenaries are there and you may never want to lose sight of them."
I want to ask them "What do you know about the North-East?".

And even more than that...I hate it now when I hear someone say "I hate the Northies.They just don't have any culture".What culture are you talking about? The culture that permits you to joyfully stop the education of women so that the men are favoured? The culture that crushes the imaginative minds of young children and makes them all robotic and inhuman?

When you don't know about the Bhajans,Keertans,Chaar Dhaams,Padyaatras,the sacredness of Ganges,the purity of faith,the simplicity of prayer without being asked for the gothras and nakshatras,the feeling of festivity which is not restricted to one section of one sect of one faith one religion,then you don't know anything.

When you don't know about the variety of dishes prepared,all from different ingredients,all for a single festival,then you don't know what appetite is.

When you don't understand the sanctity of the three Oceans meeting,the fierce rage of a widow burning a town,the sacredness of a powerfull Lord...you know nothing.

Sometimes,I feel angry at my life.I wish I would have stayed at one place..and then I would have got that sense of belonging.Knowing a place fully is better that knowing many places in tidbits I believe.

I feel disillusioned at times.This,Chennai,is my native place so to say,But I don't feel I belong.Sometimes I have the urge to run back where my home is.But..run from what?Earlier,at times such as this,I used to comfort myself...thinking ha! I am a complete Indian then.But now,it takes all my efforts to convince my Head office that my claim may be true.

I guess in the end a person does return to his or her roots.Have I? Where is it that my heart feels secure?
Where do I belong?

"Ae Masakalli Masakalli,Ud Matakalli Matakalli"...a familiar hindi song! I look around to see a small girl singing this song as she passes me by.Perhaps,its not really that bad a condition.
India is,though slowly,indeed growing up.

:(...The beautiful face that lies....:)

2009-08-10T23:46:00.006+05:30

When I go to college everyday,
There is this girl whom I meet on my way,
Who is always cheerful and happy,
She is so sweet-she is many girl's envy...

She laughs she giggles she frowns and questions,
And each time,her beauty seemed to have no ends,
She speaks with certainty,she knows what she is doing,
And from her sharp eyes,nothing is ever hidden...

Everyone wants to talk to her,
Everyone wants to listen to her,
She is always liked by everyone,
After all,being with her is always fun...

She returns to her house to find it empty,
She knew her mother was in hospital,ill & weak,
Her father is nowhere around either,
As he is tending to her mother..

Today,she had won a prize for her beautiful singing,
But she has no one to share her happiness of winning,
Friends,she has,who are more jealous than happy for her,
They all think she needs no other...

Each day,she wishes everything would be fine,
Each day,she wishes she would die,
She cannot bear the torture of returning to an empty home,
She cannot bear to be ,each day,in the eye of the storm...

Each night,her pillow is wet with tears,
Each night,her heart wants someone to drive away her fears,
She wished she had friends who would understand and support her,
She wished she had friends who didn't pity her...

All this,I didn't know,till I looked into her eyes,
And the pain that reflected made me realise,
The face and the lifestyle often tell lies...
"Hello! How are you?" I said to her,extending my hand and my friendship,with a warm smile...:)

Cheers!
Have a happy week ahead!!!!
:)

And I Died As Me....

2009-08-01T17:52:00.004+05:30

I was lying on the road,bruised and broken,
I was breathing slowly,I was so shaken,
Somewhere nearby,a child's cry pierced like a whiplash,
But,it was going to live,it was saved from the crash....

"You can't do that",someone had told me at school,
"You can't do anything right,you are a fool"
The little kid that I was,I was taken aback,
And since then,confidence I had always lacked...

"Call the ambulance!" someone screamed by my side,
Someone dabbed my wounds that had split wide,
"You are going to live",someone tried to assure me,
And with that,I returned to my reverie of memories...

"Why you are like this?"my teacher had asked,when I was young,
"Why can't you be like someone else?"and the question had stung,
And since then,I buried my identity,
And always tried to be the person others wanted me to be...

"You will live!" the cry was hysteric,
The blood was so much,it could make anyone sick,
I didn't want to die,Oh Lord forgive me for my sins,
I would never again be myself,but forgive me for the time as this....

"Don't try,its no use,the vehicle is too fast!"someone had shouted,
When I had plunged into the traffic,and saving the child I had intended,
And then pushed the child off the road and away from the traffic,
It was too late when I realized I myself was hit...

All that pain,all the words,came flooding back,
They made me realize of all the things I had lacked,
But suddenly,the pain was gone,I felt peaceful and free,
When finally my heart stopped,I was smiling...I was happy that I died as me....

All I need is....You

2009-07-29T21:29:00.005+05:30

I never said,I never expressed,
Every emotion I suppressed,
I tried to show I can live without you,
But all I need is you...

I turn away from you,not wanting to look into your eyes,
They can see that I am telling you lies,
I laugh,I smile,I seem happy to every person I am talking to,
But deep down inside,all I need is you....

I hate it when you say you love me,
I hate it when you say our friendship is for eternity,
I was proud as I thought I needed no one to see life through,
But now I say,all I need is you...

I don't want to see that you are worried for me,
I don't want you to know what you mean to me,
Its all pride, and its all ego,
But put them aside,all I need is you...

I hate you when you don't listen,
I hate you when you don't say anything,
I hate you when you say the only person who knows everything about me is you...
But,I need you.

Don't be hurt by my silence,I am a wounded soul,
Don't try to heal me,I would strike back with words too hurtful,
Don't push me to be smiling forcefully when instead tears would flow
Just keep this in mind,I need you....

Journeys...

2009-07-26T13:56:00.008+05:30

Have you ever travelled to Tawang in Arunachal Pradesh? It takes two days to travel from Guwahati to Bomdila and then to Tawang.Its nearly on the border between India and China (forgive me if I am wrong...I used to sleep during the geography classes :P).
Well,the sights are wonderful...but at times one gets disillusioned...is this the only road to reach that place? One landslide or one heavy snowfall can cut-off that town from the rest of the country!

When you are on your way to Tawang through thick forest and hardly any life,abruptly at some place pops up a temple and a little shop beside it.In the middle of the jungle.You can't help but wonder about the priest in there and the shopkeeper.As always,one gives the simplest explanation:"They are used to it".

Again,at the point where the grassy cover abruptly gives way to snow,you find a little shop where they make tea and have a large stock of Maggi Noodles! Cold wind,cold weather,snow all around and then hot Maggi and tea!!

Seriously,thats one trip that I would like to undertake.Not to see the "Madhuri Lake"(Supposedly the lake where some song was shot for the movie Koyla starring SRK and Madhuri Dixit :P)...nor for the snow-snow all around...but for the long travel through 2 states..Assam and Arunachal Pradesh...which still reminds me of the pretty narrow roads across mountains...where one wrong turn would take us down,and one landslide would take us up.

====================================================================
Have you ever travelled to Panipat in Haryana? From Delhi.Its not really any spectacular place...but again,the journey from Delhi to Panipat is pretty much enjoyable...for me at least.Thats where my home is.:)

Imagine travelling in peak winter afternoon (when its cold in delhi although theres a warm sun).
And as you go on and on,see the fields covered in a misty haze,the smell of winter air,and in the middle of that,the smell of hot aloo parantha with fresh makhan on top it when you stop by at a Dhaba....too good!

In summers,you would see Sunflowers smiling at the sun,and Sarso(I don't know what to call it in English :( ) and dusty roads...still,its lovable!

Out of nowhere pop up some villages,buffaloes,dhabas etc etc...and one would be glued to the window!

I always love going to Panipat...it signifies going home!:)

From Panipat,its the road to Kurukshetra thats pretty cool.Huge trees lined up on either sides,a smooth road...as if someone is making you relax!

Beyond Kurukshetra,you get to go to Ambala then Chandigarh,and though their roads are pretty good too...still,my favourite remains Delhi-Panipat-Kurukshetra.:)

====================================================================
Have you been to Shillong in Meghalaya? Its a cool town-city....at some place where anyone would have denied that life existed.Tilted roads,overcrowding vehicles in narrow lanes...really...fabulous!

More than that,its the journey to Cherrapunji from Shillong.The road seems to stretch on and on,and the mountains seem to look upon you with curiousity.Higher and higher,you go on,until you see the clouds on the roads and your vehicle zooming past them:Thats indication enough that you have arrived at the world's most wettest place.The clouds had covered the whole view of the Seven Sisters' Falls...and just as we were about to turn back,the curtain drew back and we could see the (more than)Seven-Sister's Falls! Spectacular View.

As you go on,you would see little-big houses,and you can't help but wonder and envy the people living in them...they are lucky in a way...they've got their own world...

====================================================================
Have you travelled to Pondicherry? Well I don't really remember much of it,but I do remember a road running parallel to the seaside.And the sea looks pretty inviting too! :).
Once in Pondicherry,you wonder you are really in India or not.Seriously,the streets look different..in fact...most of the things look a bit different! Houses,buildings,roads..etc etc!

Its one journey where I found the sea by my side...just one stop and one can run to the beaches! :)

And in all of these trips,its the journey that has enthralled me always......
====================================================================
Roads.
They teach loads of things,right?
The mysterious roads to Tawang seem to tell about life...where at times one has no other option but to follow one path.It can be dangerous,but if we are steady enough and catch hold of ourselves from falling over,we get what we want (Like the Maggi Noodles! :) )
They also tell us to go on,through twists and turns and scary phases....and not to stop!

I don't know what the roads to-and-fro Panipat tell...but let me put it to diversifying our lives.(Well,because there are 3 lanes on either side! :D)

The roads to-and-fro Shillong-Cherrapunji tell about those times in life where going further just when we thought everything was over can change our lives around.(I don't know why,but it seems so to my Head office..like the clouds whispered to me to go further.)

The Pondicherry roads tell about taking a break at times in life...and enjoy the seaside view!

So what other roads tell about? I don't know...most roads are pretty arrogant and don't talk much...it shows in their loopholes! :P

P.S:

1.There are other roads which I would love to mention too....but I can't find the words for them.
I'll surely write about them too(when I get the words;for now,the words are flying :P)!
You also tell about the roads/trips which have remained in your heart and why?

2.If you are confused whether I was talking about the roads or the journey...then...well journey takes place on roads...right? :D

Cheers!
Have a happy and smiling week ahead! :)

I guess I should not write anymore...huh??

2009-07-24T16:31:00.003+05:30

Nope.I don't have anything to write.

But I do feel like writing!(Err..to be precise,typing)

But why should I write just to see something-like-an-essay types thing on my computer screen?

Why should I catch hold of buzzing thoughts (buzzing like flies indeed) and hold them till I type out something about them and then let go of them?("Them" means thoughts).

Why should I struggle to keep awake when I could be happily dozing off...

Why do you like to read whatever I type {Err...Is that right?}(But you always follow the No-Comments mode,of course!)

I'll tell you why...Because I don't know!(HeeHee)

I guess almost every human being has the tendency or desire to share things.Its like talking about or writing about some things makes them easier to handle!

Hey seriously! When you are travelling in a train,for example,the person sitting near you starts a conversation(Or you start),and it goes on and on...and you find that you had talked more than necessary.
Or even while standing in a queue..."The climate is becoming inbearable,isn't it?"
Or outside an entrance exam centre..."My son is appearing for the exam.We came all the way from XYZ for this exam...You also don't look like natives of this place,am I right?"
Or while waiting for the bus.."Whats the time?Oh! Its so late ?The bus should've been here at this time! They just pluck money and give us no service,don't you think so?"

And it goes on.

So some sort of a bond (Not James Bond or Ionic Bond or Covalent Bond) is formed...which can be easily formed,and which when broken doesn't really give much pain....ain't it?We just want to talk to someone,we can't isolate ourselves.But out of nowhere,these people sometimes come into our thoughts and we wonder about them...ain't it?

Huh...but why I am telling you all this? I am sure you won't think about what I said anyway (Boooohooooo).

As I said earlier...I am not writing anymore.

P.S:
Wait for my next post :P

All my fate!

2009-07-18T11:20:00.004+05:30

Now we are going to connect the wires and see the result...yikes! The electricity is gone!

I am telling to a friend"For the past few days the clouds have all been just hovering overhead,but they don't rain...So it won't rain today also"
I suddenly found a tiny drop on my hand....and the next moment...it rained Rhinos and Elephants.

Sitting in the class,someone was saying "I hope ma'am doesn't ask us for our observation notebooks,I haven't completed it"
I,being the loudspeaker,said"Relax,today ma'am is absent.Even I haven't completed my observation"
The next moment,the "ma'am" appears out of nowhere and says "All of you,submit your observation notebooks,and those who haven't completed them,will be marked zero!"

One evening in the hostel,I told my roomies,"You go and eat.Today is Wednesday,the food won't be good,I don't feel like eating"
An hour later,they returned and said"You should've come,the food was good today.They changed the menu."

And at all these times(and other such times),I always found somebody giggling at my plight.Yeah,you got it...its The Almighty.

Seriously,nowadays I tell everyone something and add it with "Since I am SAYING it,it won't happen" and to negate THAT statement,whatever I say does happen.:P

Some people say things that actually turn out to be true...but yours' truly never listens to them,and those people give me "I-told-you-so" looks :P.

So all in all,whenever I think this is really going to happen,something unbelievable incident happens that ruins all my plans and I end up asking Him "Why,why only me?Can't you target someone else?"

And all I hear is more giggling.

Well does this happen to you all too? I mean this happens to me ALL the time...Does it happen that whatever you say never really happens??

Awaiting your answers...and if I am right,you all would reply.:P

Adieus!

P.S:
Please read the poem in my previous post.Arre yaar,it was a moment of Eureka when I got the idea for the poem :P

Cheers
Enoy your day

2009-07-17T18:05:00.005+05:30

In a far desolate office,
Sat one lonely officer,
Who was suddenly summoned one day by his seniors,
To get feedback on the new project they had proposed...

The officer reached the other office,
Having fans that moved too slow and needed air themselves,
Tubelights that flickered and fumed at having to work,
And chairs that creaked at the slightest stress..

The officer was summoned in front of other similar officers,
Who looked tired and bored,
Who looked like men already tired of life,
And like those who wondered with dread what the future had in store..

"Ah,sit down" said an officer to our protagonist,
And as our officer sat down and handed out the project feedback,
The other officers hardly glanced at it,
But one said "Tell,has the project been successful?"

Our officer took a deep breath,and managed to fake a smile,
"Of course,your wonderful ideas on saving environment,
Have been very much effective,
And the actions taken have indeed been a great accomplishment..

Schools,colleges and offices,
Have all been given pamphlets asking them to plant trees,
They have also been told to not to use plastics,
And they all are indeed listening

School-going children and college students,
Are all enthusiastically studying Environmental Science,
And I am also happy to tell you that they all clear the exams,
Though they always fail in other subjects otherwise....

After studying the subjects,and seeing those pamphlets,
The citizens -young and old,
Have all changed their mindsets,
And use only dustbins to throw those very pamphlets!

And so I conclude,sir,
That our project has been successful,
And I am sure that our claim to save our environment,
Would now be nearly truthful!"

The other officers exchanged happy glances,
And they all nodded their heads,
"Your report is precise and clear officer",said one of the officers,
"You may now leave"

As our officer walked out,he couldn't help but think,
"What the hell am I doing?Doesn't anyone have sense?
How are we going to do any job like this?
Where we are afraid to tell the truth and hide behind a cloak of pretence?

What would children gain,reading books on environment,
When actually they should see,
Farmers struggling for water and some improvement,
In their parched lands...

What would students do?Writing exams and forgetting everything,
When they should hear the cries,
Of the literally-drowning-in-water polar bears,
Since the heat is melting away the caps of ice.."

The officer shook his head,and went on his way,
Dejected and disappointed and frustrated,
If only he had stayed a little longer,he would have other officers say,
"What a waste! We are hiring such fools to do this job?"

"What does he think,can one do with books and pamphlets,
Or exams and quizzes and fashion shows?
When the heat is rising,and so are the prices,
Really,what are we doing to ourselves by hiring such fellows?"

A note by the poster...err I mean the blogger!:P
(The title and the post has no Kismat Konnection :P)
Hmm...I am back!! I got my results,I am an 8-pointer! Wow! And I passed in maths too!(Refer to "In God we trust,Grumble we must" post for knowing the reason for the maths-mentioning!

I don't really know what I wish to convey through this poem(poem?) of mine..But in case anybody's sentiments are hurt (including the Polar bear's) I am sorry for that...but seriously..I think just conducting huge shows on "Save the planet"-having mutliple lights and loads of sounds-;or any great quizzes or presentation contests or seminars won't really help.

We got to,ought to,should,must,etc etc do our bit for making our planet a lot cooler.(Yo man! :P)

And for this I don't want to join any clubs,but what I do want you to do is join your eyelids with your eyeballs(I mean close your eyes) and think...do you like your place to be all metal and glass and artificial...or would you like it natural,green and cool?
(By the way,switching off lights when not in use and all such stuffs reduce your electricity bills!)

Cheers
Have a cool weekend!:)

Sometimes in life...

2009-07-11T15:02:00.009+05:30

Sometimes in life,we have to let go,
Some memories...so that we live in the present,
Sometimes in life,we have to show,
Courage and sense when everything is falling apart...

Sometimes in life,we need to smile and be happy,
When inside our heart is breaking,
Sometimes in life,we need to forgive,
No matter how much someone is hurting...

Sometimes in life,we have to be strong and graceful,
To witness our own defeat,
Sometimes in life,we have to be gracious and humble,
Even when we have had our greatest win...

Sometimes in life,we need to open up and talk,
Even though all we need silence,
Sometimes in life,we must be quiet,
To convey our condolence...

Sometimes in life,our shoulders are needed for someone to cry,
When we ourselves have not been offered any solace,
And often in our lives ,we find ourselves alone,
And for all troubles,we have no option but to put up a brave face...

But always,we should be thankful and smile,
For all the things we have had in our life,
Because all our possessions stay with us only for a while,
But our true character remains with us night and day,come what may....

P.S:I guess its a bit of a sad set of rhymes...but I am feeling a bit down-down right now :(

Cheers
Have a happy week ahead! :)

No title...Why don't you suggest one? :D

2009-07-06T17:40:00.003+05:30

"And from now on,you all would be having daily tests!",our class coordinator said,giving us a wide smile.
I stared at her...I just couldn't think of any reason why she was giving that big smile.Here I was,wishing that our college would treat us like college students by NOT conducting those stupid tests which aren't of any use....and there she was,smiling as though she has found treasure.

My head feeling heavy,my steps not so eager,I reached my hostel after the torture (read: classes) and I was so irritated that I had intended to complain to my mother about my college.Well,thats the best thing I do next to crying : Complain.

I got hold of my mobile and gave my mother a Missed Call.{Well,okay,I admit it;I am a kanjoos (Miser)}. The next moment,she called back with that cheery "Hello!".
I said "How are you,Ma? Are you doing some work?"

She replied "Oh not really.Tell me"

Just as I was about to begin my round of complains,my head faced a whirlpool of thoughts....

What am I doing here? I still haven't accepted my life here? Or have I? When will I stop complaining and start living? What great thing did I do that I have to complain about some silly rules,some undigestable food {Exaggerated},some black water in our taps,some lack of holidays,some silly dress code,and some more of the little teeny-weeny things? Have I been sent here forcefully? It was my fault that I screwed up my exams last year (Boards and entrances,I mean),my fault that I didn't do well,my fault that I didn't speak up and say No when I was being sent here...
And what are the BIG problems here anyway? The rules? We'll break them! The food? We'll survive! The lack of holidays? Okay,lets take pride in that....I go home once in every 5 months and live there for only a week...and when my parents come here,its only for a day or two.All right then,ain't I great?

Does every problem have a solution?{Well,I guess except for our politicians!}
Of Course!!!
Each and every lock has a key,and each thing that God does to us is only to strengthen us...blessed are we that we are punished by Him,this means he is taking notice of us!!!(HeeHee)

I'll also show my parents that I am not the Taare Zameen Par case of homesickness...(I mean the initial one.) I am living here too,surviving,cost-cutting,reading novels,Blogging despite such huge assignments,and not to forget my partners in crime! What else do I need Ma,What else?

"Hello?? Anu!!!! If you are not going to reply,I'll disconnect!!!"

I shook myself from the reverie and said "My day was great Ma! You know what? They are going to start daily tests in our college! As if we are really going to clear THOSE!!!"

P.S:
This post was not really meant for doing some self-praising(Though I nearly got close to that).What I wanted to convey was that despite huge problems,we still survive(We means Human Beings,and not WE only!).Somehow or the other,the next day dawns,the next sunset comes and again the next day comes back.So its upto us whether rise with each sunrise or fall with each sunset.

P.P.S:
No offence meant to my college.Just that we all (The Respected Students) are so fed up of the rules that we are sure to bring down the result collectively and without efforts (Unity is Strength).

P.P.P.S:
Some people ask me,why are you so obsessed about Hostel Life?
Well,because like the Public is so obsessed about Sensational News because its New,
Like that I am also obsessed about my hostel life...coz its new...for Me!

Adieu

Sweet Revenge

2009-07-04T17:56:00.003+05:30

Note:
(1) This post is specifically for one and only one person.That guy would surely comment and reveal his identity....that dumbo!!!!!
(2) Hey Freelancer/Mridu bhaiya/{or whatever other names you've got},don't get me wrong after seeing this post and thinking: arre,aisa kaam toh maine apne blog par kiya tha(kisi ko gaali dene ka,I mean)!!!
(3)This post is subject to anytime deletion.

Yes,I am talking about You.Yeah you,you stupid snake-catcher/killer,you self-proclaimed fast rider,self-proclaimed fearless person,self-proclaimed-in-love person.I am talking about you.Oops,I am talking about the most most most idiotic and vain and brainless creature ever to exist in the whole wide universe!!!

Talking to you has made my head go haywire,my self-confidence commit suicide and my self-esteem has been arrested and sent to jail.All because of you.Thank you very much.

What the hell you think of yourself,huh? You are the only snake-catcher or killer in the whole-wide world ah? When I told you that even my cousin bro n sis catch snakes but don't kill them,your reaction was:Ah,they must be some silly baby-snakes,not venomous...but I catch the venomous snakes.You just wait,I'll have it arranged that you are pushed in a big container having loads of poisonous snakes in it and those snakes won't be much friendly to you.

And you are the ruddy rash driver ah?? I'll show you what rash driving is...or in fact,just show me how you drive in the Chennai traffic and let me see how you survive here.

And oh I forgot.For you everyone else is just a brainless or characterless guy and everything I do is just a joke:
"Who participates in Global Warming Awareness Competitions man?"
"Why are you adding music to your slides?This is not a wedding that you are adding music!"
And when I told you that I had spoken in front of everyone and that I just blabbered and felt ashamed of it...the only reaction I got (instead of saying something like "Its ok" or "Forget about it"): "Once I was given a mic to speak about something and I just stared at it and came of the stage".

And the major thing that caused the provocation
"Hey that tennis sir of yours was no good"
I ask my other readers,how would you feel that the coach or teacher(however he/she is/was) is being talked about in such a manner ? I mean when I was telling about the sir once praising me and me doing well in the game....imagine my feelings after hearing this.

I can gurantee you that the person I am talking about will immediately comment and say "Hey you misunderstood me,main toh bas mazak kar raha tha(I was just jokin)"
Or he would opt for the easy way out "All right,I'll never talk to you again"

As if snapping all contacts would surely make everything fine ah?

I need answers!

Again to all my readers....I don't want you all to think bad of this friend of mine.(Yeah he is still a friend...though whenever I am just about to begin to tell my share of sorrows after he has poured his heart out,something or the other happens resulting in me thinking that this fellow ain't interested in listening to me).

Its called Vidhi.Fate.You always end up getting the wrong person or the wrong things out of the right person when you yourself are searching for someone to share your day's sorrows and happiness.

Well by the way...the purpose of my blog was just to vent out my anger.Coz I can't push the friend off a cliff,or throw him out of airplane,or strangle him with my hands,or make a thousand hungry dogs chase him,or make him consume arsenic...or just anything.So I guess I ought to contended just writing over here about the one person who has made my brain resign from its post and leave my Head Office empty.

Adieus

P.S:The person whom I am talking about is.....a human being!(I think so....coz earlier he seemed to be human,but now its getting pretty much obvious that the guy is a devil!)

Yipee...I am about to be a senior !!!

2009-07-03T18:11:00.006+05:30

Finally...the day arrived when I could proudly (though not without wondering about any possible appearance of any arrears in the first year 2nd sem exams....heehee) write my name and beneath that mention that I am a student of EEE(Electrical and Electronics Engineering) of the 2nd year.

So how it felt to be a "senior"? Well actually,we would be officially seniors only when we get the juniors :P..But still,who cares???

But entering into our department (OUR department!) and facing our core subjects is a bit exciting and a bit scary at the same time. Scary because of the practicals and the subject names themselves (Like Electro-Magnetic Theory,Measurements and Instrumentation,and the best of all...Data Structures and its Analysis {or was it Applications?}).For now,I am feeling so grand and happy and anxious and scared that I do not know whether to laugh or to slap my head in tension...(HeeHee,I guess I'll always be a bit childish....still its good to be that way!)

It has been my dream that I do engineering.Because of a Maths teacher telling other students that "This girl would surely join Arts"(because I always used to fail in Maths in the lower classes in school and do well ONLY in languages!).And mostly because I always saw my father suddenly getting a phone call in the middle of the night saying "Theres a problem in this Control Valve and that Pressure Valve" and he used to rush to the rescue!

Yeah of course,on the other hand,Engineering is one of the most most most common thing that students opt for.I don't need to repeat cliches (Pronounced as Kleeshays,meaning a statement repeated again and again or something like a common saying---Aishu,this is for you) about WHY do people take up engineering.(or do I?)

It seems the Honourable government (Honourable indeed!) is thinking of introducing Medicine and Law in the IITs.That would be a good move I guess,considering the fact that half the population of India slogs to get into the IITs and take up ANY kind of engineering....so now one half of THAT half may try to get into the medical or law courses of the IITs...which would imply that finally a lot more students MAY really want to take up Medicine or Law(?)
Lets see what happens.

I feel like a hypocrite right now.Seriously.I also had slogged(not really,not much,not enough) to get into the IITs but no I wasn't successful.And in the second attempt this year,I had got qualified for the Extended Merit List.But now that there isn't any hope for changing the college,I am again back to the pavillion of calling the ones slogging to get into the IITs as .... boring and uninteresting !!

Its like we are crushing our own ambitions and our own thoughts and what not just to get something materialistic...ain't it? Many people tell me that you haven't seen the real world,that you have always been protected,you don't know about the sacrifices one has to make to be able to survival etc etc etc..but stubborn and idiotic and adamant and ignorant that I am...you might know what my reaction to those statements would be!(HeeHee)

OOPS!(I am not talking about Object Oriented Programming..thats for Computer Science & Engineering waale yaar!!)....See again! I have drifted off the topic again(Oh Anu,you are so considerate to stop the post here!!! Oh god I am so modest!!! hee hee)

Okay,while I go and figure out just what exactly are we supposed to do for deleting an element from a List(arrey...I am talking about an Array!!!) you figure out what you are going to do for making your lives interesting if you land in the wrong job!!!(OR are already in one.)

Adieu

P.S:I am seriously not joking about this...but
PLEASE COMMENT!!!!

RULES....are meant to be understood correctly!

2009-06-25T11:30:00.011+05:30

Note:This post is subject to anytime deletion(Not that it matters much)

My hostel warden looked up at me when I had shown her the application asking permission to go out.I had stated that I had to go out for the "purpose of shopping".

She glared at me and said "Don't write that you need to go out for shopping! They'll(Security guys or the management guys or the Chief Warden) ask questions! Write that you need to buy books or something"

Though I didn't understand whats wrong for us to go out on a Sunday and that too between 11 am to 4 pm,I wrote a new application in which I stated that I had to go out since I have to get the photocopy of a book (?).She smiled and said "Enjoy your day!"

I never really go out much anyway...I am too lazy.I would rather be dozing or reading a book instead of going out.

But that day I had to go out with one of my roomies for buying a surprise cake for my other roomie.

And I couldn't help but wonder....wonder about the risk our warden was taking.She knew us too well and trusted us too much to know that we would not land into trouble. :P.

I also wondered about what the people who made these rules thought about us going out for some shopping? I don't say we aren't allowed,I would say it isn't approved.

But all the same I love my hostel.I also love breaking its rules.

Maybe these things happen in all other hostels too.I don't know.But I can't really be blaming them for the idiotic rules...If anything happens to any of the hostelites(God forbid) they are the ones who would face the music and people will think a hundred times before sending their children to our college.Its obvious.But still one hopes for miracles,one hopes that the management starts to think the way we do....:P

Well I am a very sincere student.I don't usually break rules,coz I see rules as challenges which don't let me live my life my way.So I say to the rule-makers..."Oh...so you got another one ah? Let me see how this rule breaks me...I'll show you how rules are followed!!!"

So the end result is that no rules are broken by me.They are just bent,heated,molten and shaped to suit me(with a large help from reliable sources,of course!).So in this way,the rule makers are also happy...and I am...as always...happy!
(HeeHee)

So I smiled back at my warden and said "Do you need anything ? We'll buy it for you.":)

P.S. Don't ask me to give an example of bending the rules.Unfortunately I suffer from short term memory loss...so I don't remember the examples.(HeeHee)

Have a nice week!

And....remember the rules so that you know how to break them!

P.S.: I have read Shantaram....it took me 3 days full to complete it.And there are no words to describe this amazing book..its really really very good!

What Do You THINK?

2009-06-23T16:22:00.005+05:30

Hey folks,I am thinking.Okay okay,stop grinning...I really can think!

What am I thinking? Well I am thinking a lot of things....like how much time will I take to finish the book Shantaram written by Gregory David Roberts(the book has got 933 pages),then I am thinking why is it that the food in expensive hotels is too bad compared to the food you get in dhabas or little highway restaurants,and I am thinking what would be Sania Mirza's next move after marriage(HeeHee)...and thats not all...I am thinking...oops...I am blabbering about myself...oh god...I am so modest!(HeeHee).

An acquintance of mine once told me "I never think.I never think of the future nor the past.I just live in the present".I know all of you approve.Sure.Its quite right for depressed souls to live in the present.But then,why has the Almighty given us a brain then? To get brain cancer? Or for using it at the right time in the wrong way?

I don't really mean to be rude but seriously,we are intelligent creatures (We?)...and we should think.Think of all the lovely things in life,think of the varied emotions human beings are capable of,think about our own capabilities so that we can stand on our own feet,think of improving other's lives,think of being an integral part of a system known as the society-in short,there is so much to think,good or bad or useless....but start to think!

Sometimes,people (including me) avoid thinking.Its like thinking drifts them off to another phase of their lives they might never really want to think about,or don't want to face,or have buried somewhere deep...Any loss,any bad incident,any guilt,any self-pity,any reproach might suddenly pop up from somewhere that might make us feel immense sadness which we are always afraid of.But,we have to face it.We aren't ostriches that we dig our faces into the sand when we see a danger coming,right? There is no procedure to face the despair....its just pulling yourself together when everyone else thinks you would surely go down.

What would thinking do to you? Well,it would certainly bring out your creative side.
What about negative thoughts? Well again,keep thinking them too....and all of a sudden you would feel..hey what the hell! I am bored of these stupid thoughts.... :D

What should you think? Well to begin with,you can think about what are you going to do with your life.(heehee)

All right,while you get confused with what to think and the purpose of my post,I'll resume my reading.(I have already read 320 pages till now!!!)

Stop dreaming.
Start thinking.

P.S:Today's Quote of the day says:
Blessed are the forgetful: for they get the better even of their blunders

Ain't it funny but true?(Huh?)

Adieu!

In GOD we TRUST,grumble we MUST!

2009-06-15T13:45:00.009+05:30

I hate you.I seriously do.How can you do this to me? Today you have messed up my maths paper,and God knows...oops,I mean you would only know how many other exams of mine you are going to screw up! You know how much I practiced for maths! {Ah well,whatever I did was enough}.And see....you made me forget all the formulas and methods and on top of it,you were blowing the silly wind that made my question paper and answer sheet float about in air! I know you are grinning at the mere sight of seeing me in trouble! Humph! You are bad,bad,bad!

OK,coming back to you people now...whoa....yikes! God has appeared in my room...and oh my god(?) he looks angry.

I am thinking to myself...OK so what? you may be God but I am also angry right now,and I won't give you much attention!

But you know what God is....adamant.So after keeping quiet for a few minutes he said "I heard you hurling abuses at me,so I came".{Ah,here you go.God also has the tendency to exaggerate!}

I was non-responsive and said "Ya,so?".Hmm,I guess my answer seemed to hit home...as His face cleared and he looked at me and..surprisingly...started laughing!

"Oh you little pest....you are so silly. You get angry for such stupid reasons!

Last time you complained about the rain that you didn't want to appear.Other time you complained about going home where you did go and had fun...then you complained about having to come back to college. Always complaining!

When I give you rain thinking you would be amused,you end up catching a cold and complaining about it.When I give things too easily to you,you complain of life being too dull.When I give challenges you complain about the troubles!"

I listened...and was feeling ashamed.But still I was too arrogant to admit that I didn't have anything to complain much till the results come...and also...how was He responsible for a maths paper gone wrong ?

OK,I said,I know I was idiotic to let anything like a maths paper make me scold you...but I just didn't know what to do.
He smiled,more like the teacher who has taught the arrogant kid some patience.
He told me...its all right.Remember me always,and don't grumble!
He turned around and vanished..
I looked up...
and groaned "Oh God ! You broke the ceiling when you entered!!!!!! Arrrrghhh! I hate you!"

Dare to dream BIG!

2009-06-05T14:07:00.005+05:30

Thousands of people surrounding you,hailing you,a dozen officers appointed for your security,all the top guns of the industry wanting to be friends with you,your noble work is the talk of the town(or city) and the loyal friends.....this isn't just a dream....this can be a reality.No,I am not talking of joining the mafia to have it all.In fact,I don't even know how all this can happen.But I do know the cause...the dream.A wise man(or woman) once said that dreams aren't the pictures you see when you are asleep,but they are the images which don't let you sleep.
True.
Think of something you have always wanted in your life.And let me tell you,if its only...only...Money...then you are gone.Money is temporary,its here today and not tomorrow.Think of something you would really love to do....Social work? Invent something? A dream project? A reform? And when you do,the path would be shown to you.And if its not clear still how you would do it...well...they say "Look at the sky. We are not alone. The whole universe is friendly to us and conspires only to give the best to those who dream and work" --- A.P.J. Abdul Kalam
It seems logical,you know,when we are determined to do something good or have set our hearts into something....it seems nothing else matters.
Just think...for an instant at least...what is it that makes you wake up all night,makes you more determined and fearless? That's what your dream is...and THAT'S what you have to be to be happy in life!
One cannot just "survive" in life.One needs an ambition and the passion to fulfill it.
So don't be afraid to dream..whatever they are.Just do it.
Your dream is calling you from your sleep,have you woken up?

Its Singara Chennai

2009-05-17T12:01:00.004+05:30

Yeh Chennai hai mere yaar....
And its not only Idli and Sambhaar!...:D
Well,when you are visiting Chennai for the first time...(or any time)....you would be intoxicated with the smell of jasmine flowers,food..(you would be surprised at the variety....you see,its not only Idli n dosa all the time! :P),the sea breeze,etc etc etc.You can argue that its all available in other places too...but it won't be a registered Chennai product! :D
A city struggling between modernity and modesty(like our India itself in general),a city braving power cuts,a city of brainy kids(?),a city having a multi-culture mixed into one culture,a city slowly opening up,a city slowly going global,a city of movie-star crazy fellows(super-crazy da!),a city slowly inching towards the mainland issues,a city of cricket-crazy guys and girls(super-super-crazy da!),a city of beautiful lyrics,a city of beautiful sounds of music,a city fighting corruption,a city breaking the barriers with care and inviting people from the outer-sphere.....
Wait! Does this sound like any other metro of our country? Well yes it does.Thats attributed to the fact that all the metros are a part of the Incredible India! :) {oh I am so intelligent! :P}
But still....Singara Chennai rocks! :)
Its not a nice place...its an awesome place.Initially,you may feel a bit like where-have-I-come...but later on as you mix with the people,get to know their issues,get to mingle,tell them many things,learn many things from them...then you would understand what I am talking about (coz I myself don't know what I am talking about!)
And oops,I forgot to tell....the language spoken here is Tamil. (In case you got confused!)

P.S.: I guess I haven't done much justice to this place by this post,but be patient,I'll be back again with more words about this magical city! :)

Take care,and have a nice week ahead! :)

Its all about being friends!

2009-05-13T21:44:00.004+05:30

My cellphone beeped for the fifth time...and there it was...a message from my Best Friend.
"How are you now?"
No I am not ill presently;I wasn't well yesterday.But,you see,my friend asked me this question 3 times,and to top it all,sent me 2 forwards about friendships and stuffs...for which I was supposed to send a reply.Since I consider myself too intellectual to be replying to silly forwards,I never really respond to her "Tell this about me" or "What you like the most about me".But even after getting such a cold response for something she considers sacred,she still cares.She still messages after a heated arguement,still listens when I have cursed her with all my vocabulary,and she still never gives up when someone else would have got frightened and ran away.
Its like this only for some people,you know,that you can show your anger to,can cry in front of them,can tell your little secrets,fight and still be back together.
They say love is the ultimate thing which involves a great mixture of all emotions-anger,despair,hope,happiness,sadness and so on.I don't think so.It starts from friendship itself.Like you and your "someone special" would have been friends initially,ain't it?
Nope,I ain't SRK fan and I ain't definitely quoting the dialouge from "Kuch Kuch Hota hai" ("Pyaar dosti hai... :D").But still,friendship is pretty much the basis of love....in fact,friendship and love are inseparable.We love our friends,and our love is our best friend!(Phew!)
So I dedicate this little blog of mine to all my friends whom I have truly loved though never told.And 1 special mention to that best friend of mine-you know I never told you how much I care for you,but you should know(sounds cheeky?)
At times we tend to forget to tell our friends how much we care.So leaving behind your bitter-feelings(if any) and ego (again,if any)....just call up or message or just somehow let them know that you are still there for them...before "Someone Special" snatches them away from you! (Heehee)

Take care everyone..Have a nice time with your friends!

The HOSTEL Life!

2009-05-11T23:27:00.001+05:30

Welcome home my dear child!
Thats the reaction we get when we reach our homes during holidays.Thats right; yesterday's nuisances become today's heroes of their homes! And by jove,what a time! We rule! We get new stuff that we do need but don't ask for,our favourite dishes are made,we get to watch TV uninterrupted, we get to do anything we want,'coz "We dont get those in hostel !"
Yeah,but the price for this is a bit high(if you aren't enjoying your time in hostel,that is). Like we do feel terribly sad when we are packing our stuffs all over again to return back to hostel....and for those who cry--well,they just hide their tears from their parents...fearing they may start howling! Each time we eat at the hostel mess....the ghar ka khaana pops up in our minds from nowhere. And fills us with nauseating memories that are so hard to let go.
And many other times,we eagerly await going back to hostel.Sometimes 'coz of any fests,at the thought of seeing our respective crushes again,for facing the new sems and the new profs,for meeting up with friends...or just to be doing something other than lieing like an useless piece of furniture at home!

But still,many times we do feel lonely, like we just wish our parents say their advices that we loathed...to hear them console us when we make any silly mistakes that others' laugh at....that they make us feel special all over again...(Ugh!)
Hey but don't think hostel life is full of miseries and homesickness and blah blahs.There are very helpful seniors(?) too,who help you tide over the homesickness....or sometimes they just bring about a high tide of laughter that your glooms are washed away!
Yep,hostel life rocks! Getting up(late),having fights for the bathroom(optional,if you aren't really feeling too hydrophobic or lazy!),eating breakfast(optional),being late and getting the glares of your profs(not optional,one still gets the glares even if one is on time!) then lunch (no comments),then glares,then the tea,then the dinner,then the time we chat,gossip,laugh,complain,jeer,play music,copy assignments from roomies,write assignment for roomies,make the roomies write assignments for us,complain to each other's parents that their child ain't eating properly,going for walks,getting into trouble,cry(Yeah!),clean shelves(optional),share money,share eatables(Yummy!),share experiences.......et cetras.
Yep....hostel life........ROCKS!!!!